Resolution #8: Socialize; catch up with old friends, make new friends. Be less dependent on existing social circle

Done and done! Let's recap...

Sipping delectable dessert wine at quaint french cafe Le Bistrot du Sommelier along Armenian Street followed by potent cocktails at The Library x V1/K/friends; long overdue supper at Jalan Kayu + talking for hours (God I've missed J.LML); stuffing our faces at Sun with Moon x the makeupgroup; gorging on yummy tapas and downing inappropriately-named (I thought H was the most uncommon name in the world, I couldn't have been more wrong) mojitoesque drinks  at Bodega y Tapas x the COT; sumptuous yumcha x N/P/M at Lei Garden and dinner with IJ girls M/J/J this Wednesday!

Hitting the Andy Warhol-Studio 54 theme party at The Art Bar/Butter Factory x the girlz #vicanda in full-on glam mode - think Bianca Jagger in her heyday - vintage Frank Usher Grecian goddess gown (from my 21st), vintage gold belt & clutch, brown suede heels with gold straps. Glowing skin, smoky gold/bronze eyeshadow, cat eyeliner, red lips and retro curls pinned up on my right/cascading down my left. Even the unexpected presence of the Irish couldn't bring me down. 

I think the dark clouds are finally passing. 

It's only January and already I've managed to catch up with various social circles absent in 2013. This year has gotten off to a good start. Fingers crossed it stays that way!

I should add #15: Try new things to my list of resolutions; too easy to get stuck in a Club St/Kyo/life in general rut... Loved the impromptu catchup x SMc at Jigger & Pony last night. Am usually so harried rushing from one social event to another that it felt thoroughly refreshing to sit at a bar and chat over cocktails (sans time constraint)

Plus I want to check out these places (additions anticipated):
House of Dandy
The Spiffy Dapper
Tippling Club
The Secret Mermaid
Bitters & Love
Oxwell & Co
The Black Swan/The Powder Room
Maison Ikkoku
The Horse's Mouth
Oh, I've just booked my ticket to Laneway this Saturday - Whoop whoop to losing my music festival virginity! Hmm, I wonder what to wear...

awfully chocolate.

guess who just had not one, but two! (super-indulgent-sinfully-rich) slices of awfully chocolate cake for tea?

ME!!!!!!!!!!

all thanks to my darling COT member joshua *beams* whose lists of credits also include:

- bearer of sunflowers

- presenter of chocolate drink from starbucks after a long day at work

- giver of egg tarts (my favourite!) & charsiewfilled pastries (upon my exclamation of hunger) at work

- prone to showing up at my workplace unexpected, extending an invitation to lunch/tea/dinner

...etc etc.

and now, to add to that list; buyer of awfully chocolate cake! (i'm just following the font)

i received a strangely abrupt call from the very same mr cheong enquiring about my location. once i answered, "home" he quickly hung up. no more than 10 minutes later, i find he's standing outside my door (correction: already inside my house), bearing a chocolate cake

(the very same one my mother refused to buy for my 20th birthday because it was too expensive) yet, the woman still has the audacity to gobble up a large chunk of it! hmmph! *crosses arms* oh wells.

AHHHHH....


YUM :) :) :)


spankew very much!

grownup-hood

when i was in secondary school, i watched with mouth agape as all the sec 4s sashayed around like they ruled the school, fact of the matter was - they did. being 16 never looked so cool. when i was 16, being legal was all the rage. i looked upon turning 18 as a ritual of sorts. i yearned to be 18 and legal; you're supposed to have a revelation, and there's a moment in which you leave your old self behind and become an adult, or something like that.

then i heard that at 19, a woman is apparently at her peak; she will be at her most attractive stage, look the most beautiful and be in the best shape, physically. there was just something (i can't really put my finger on it), it was evident in all my sister's friends, then 19; this innate sense of self-confidence/assurance that sparkled from within. it was as if they had come into their own, found themselves - they no longer required approval of any kind, from anyone.

they lived for themselves.

i remember admiring them immensely and spending my days wondering when i would feel the same.

at each particular significant 'turning point' - i waited patiently for this revelation, and the magical transformation to take place - there was none. i wanted so desperately to be of age, to find out for myself what it felt like to not feel the constant urge to seek validation, i wanted to radiate self-confidence with every step. i wanted to be a real grown up.

one day, - today in fact - i realized that the transformation was not noticeable because it didn't take place overnight, but gradually over time, many years. there was no instant ugly duckling->swan moment nor the sprinkling of fairydust.

a couple of hours ago, i was sitting poolside with the usual suspects, sipping wine, dressed in a sky blue oversized men's shirt (i can't help but feel empowered and sexy wearing a man's shirt!), white shorts, brown leather saddle belt slung loosely over the hips and green & white striped wedges (just fyi) and it hit me. we were conversing about random things, as per normal. i suggested we all share 3 things that none of us knew about each other. in the midst of that, realization dawned: i AM a grown up.

i'm at that stage in my life where i've finally come into my own, i wear whatever i want, i do whatever i please and i TRY not to give a damn about what other people think or say. i feel comfortable being myself, trust me when i say it's been a long time coming.

hey, life's short. you gotta live for yourself.

i've never felt more grown up in my life. for the first time i have; a job, bills to pay, official government letters about CPF/the $100 GST thing/donating my organs, CREDIT CARDS, real problems and issues to deal with - all of which are things i associate with grownup-hood

Dr. Meredith Grey: We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

note: i loved my lashes today. my mascara is drying up just a little, the end result was my lashes sorta clumping up - i did them in a hurry - but ultimately looking very thick and doll-like, it opened up my eyes tremendously! makeup: i changed the shade of my tinted moisturiser, it's currently a mix of pink+ochre. flushed cheeks, windblown strands loosely knotted into a bun, no eyeliner or eyeshadow, just mascara. and my pretty stila lipglaze.

"i wanna have your babies."
- natasha bedingfield

"merci beaucoup"

they don't call the french crazy for nothing,
positively barking.

nouvelle vague live at zouk (guess who scored invites! - official statement: i had to rely on my 'womanly charms' heh heh) and audrey tatou in priceless, come to think of it, i've had quite a bit of french for thought this week. haha. silly wordplay, in case you haven't already figured that out.

it was yummy, every drop of it.
i can't say much, it was one of those things where you just had to be there.

oh, i simply adore the way she says "merci beaucoup". gosh, it sends shivers down my spine at the mere thought of it.

bay. lee. s

after a long hard week of full-on work, (and by 'full-on' i mean, 8.5 hours a day x 6 days a week, on my feet) there's nothing quite like a couple of shots of baileys to dull the pain.

introducing our very own...
BAILEYS PARTY!

the BP materialized when i - in dire need of a chillout session - came to the shocking realization (while brainstorming for fresh new ideas! *rolls eyes at own enthusiasm*) that there were 2 bottles at home, and nobody to drink it. hence, BP came into motion!

place: poolside at gen's balmoral bachelorette pad poison of choice: baileys, original and caramel party people: (cot - 1) + 1 = [cot - joleen] + gen = josh pp vic gen

sitting poolside either lounging on deckchairs star-gazing or being a participant of our in-depth conversations on life, love, work, relationships, marriage, our childhoods, past present and the future, dream homes (pagoda vs. pavilion), estimated no. of offspring, living with in-laws, the 10 worst reasons to break up with someone.. etc

you get the drift; anything that could have possibly crossed our minds at that given moment. it's not everyday that you get to do this... just talk, and in such a candid manner to boot, free of all the stifling/stilted conversations that often take place outside your comfort zone, around people you have not a shred of affinity with. for that alone, i'm ever so thankful, to have been blessed with the company of such friends. and simply, for being able to be me (around said friends).

as egotistical as it may sound, i cannot stop patting myself on the back for this gem of an idea! i simply can't imagine a more perfect way to celebrate the end of yet another week, and to embrace the coming of a new one. well, can you? we should make this a weekly/fortnightly affair. evil grin. now that the seed has been planted, i'm pretty darn sure the notion will catch on, if it hasn't already (caught on).

cue: changing of topic.

many a time, i wonder: why the hell are my friends so nice?

eg #1: jacky dropping by in the middle of a workday to hand-deliver (one of my favourite things in the whole wide world) famous amos?!?!

eg #2: josh picking me up after a long hard day, with some large chocolate chip concoction from starbucks in hand, saying he guessed i must be tired from work and needed a drink??!?

purely FYI: i'm notorious for my obsession with anything chocolate/chocolate anything

AHH i love you guys! thank you for everything. i promise i'll try to stop being such a grouchypoo and revert to being the tokyodrift-loving girl i once was.

we got into an accident last night.

a relatively minor one albeit, but still, i was pretty shaken up. literally.

josh was sending me home - i was asleep when it happened - all i know is there was a loud bang, i hit my head against the window or ledge (wherever it was that i had fallen asleep against) and woke up in a daze. i could hear josh saying "shit" over and over.

i had absolutely no idea what had just taken place; i thought it was just a blown tyre (or we ran over something on the road) and asked him so. i don't recall if he replied, but i think he mentioned the steering wheel going out of control and hitting something.

i felt the coldness of dread seeping in.

i don't remember much about the events that unfolded last night, but i wisened up when i saw part of a bumper that had gotten detached in the middle of the road. i had no idea whom it belonged to, or the extent of damage... until i got out of the rover and walked back towards the taxi.

then i saw it. whoa.

the taxi's boot was quite badly banged up/smashed in. the yellow submarine had hit it on the left side - where i was seated - which explains why/how i banged my head, hard. i was still rubbing my head when i reached the taxi - where they were exchanging contacts, in a rather calm rational manner - so much so the taxi driver asked if i was okay. i nodded.

when i think about what could have happened, i swear to god, i feel real fear. josh has a seatbelt on his side but he wasn't wearing it, i on the other hand, don't even have one. we both could've crashed through the windscreen had the impact been any harder. i could've died, or worse, become paralysed or lost limbs, or.. the list could go on. i shudder at the thought of the 'what if' factor.

from now on, i'm taking my car. i do not care what she has to say about my driving, but it's safety over everything else, everytime. at least i have seatbelts, and airbags.

yet despite it all, josh still had the presence of mind to remain calm and focus on getting me home safely. outside my gate, he even hopped out and opened the door for me. i then asked him to check if there was any blood, scratch or bump on my head but there was no sign of injury.

i'm touched. *deep breath* all i can say is
"sometimes, bad things happen to good people".

i don't know what i did to deserve my friends, but jacky josh pp - you guys are a great bunch. gen made a comment about how my guy friends are incredibly gentlemanly, even compared to hers, and i have to agree. all the things you've done for me, simply amazing.

i've come to learn this the hard way;
most guys are only nice to you because they want something. all the niceties cease once they realise they're not going to get it.

josh, pp: i don't even know where to start. it's overwhelming, what you've done; witnessing my crazy antics, taking my mind off the broken heart and a certain someone - with loads of chilling out therapy (wala, one rochester, liquid kitchen, holland v - i miss that) acting as a peacemaker between my mother and i, counseling me in the kitchen while i cried till my eyes were puffy and my face swollen, sat morning gymming, the swimmming at raffles marina, the baileys-induced foursome in josh's bed, my wonderful 20th birthday!!... etc. FOR JUST BEING THERE.

jacky: this is worse! 4-5 years of friendship, honestly there's too much to say, too much we've been through together; you having been omnipresent throughout the ups and downs of all my pathetic 1.5 relationships and uncountable crushes - namely skb freakout sessions, the crying over the phone, severe outbreaks of pms and mood swings, assuring me when i was brimming with self-doubt during fyp, the good and bad times we've encountered to reach this comfortable place where we are right now. i'm so grateful you're here. with me.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. if i never said it, i'm saying it now.
and right now, i can't say it enough. you are all blessings.

p/s: the most recent episode last night at phuture; i was bending over the counter ordering drinks on behalf of the highly indecisive company we were keeping - josh is positive the 1-for-1 (given it was after 12) and discount we received is because of my hard work. heh - when jacky realised my very short shorts were hardly covering much because some dude came up and stood directly behind my ass, pretty much up in the air.

so he intercepted (i think that's the word for it) and put himself in between. then the guy apparently started grinding him from behind, hands on his waist and all [i was provided with a realistically freaky live demo by jacky and pp later on, to my amusement/disbelief]

props to jacky, who took one for the team! (i think) poor guy. once again, i was very touched by his show of protectiveness. see, this is why i need to club with guys - PROTECTION!

p/p/s: crazy party girl mode was on last night! they played all my favourite songs after 3am; tokyo drift fast and furious (YAY!), maneater, promiscuous? sexyback.. the recollection isn't all that clear, but yeah :)

give it to me.

the timbaland/timberlake/furtado collabo never looked hotter.

justin is so unabashedly adorable here, and has thus been named as the sole inspiration and muse for the outfit i've put together (wayy before i saw the video) to wear to work tomorrow, ditto with the afterparty.

"the clothes maketh the wo-man": the look

thin long sleeved collared shirt, inverted seams, chest pockets, flippy shoulder things (commonly seen on uniforms), white. high waisted roll-up shorts, double row buttons in front, black. skinny floral tie (worn as tie, for real!). black stockings. heels/converses (undecided) could go either way, last minute decision-making at play. i wish i had a tailored vest a la JT to match, but alas - none within a 5 mile radius.

how can one not dance along to this? seriously, seriously! it's too infectious, and continually growing on me at such a rapid pace i simply can't stop pressing play.

i hope i get to groove to this tomorrow night.
*keeping fingers crossed*



i guess this is my cue to slip into crazy party girl mode.

the unanimous choice: dinner/breakfast @ bookcafe, it was closed. the alternative: brewerkz @ clarke/boat quay (i can never figure out which is which). in a series of seriously fortunate events, we miraculously bumped into gen & co. there.

(gen eventually left her company to join ours. YAY!)

after dinner activities: almost MOS-ed, left for villa bali only to find it un-open, then to samar @ arab street to 'tempt' our tastebuds with their incredibly strange concoctions; body/facial/foot-scrub-like almond milk drink (gen), at least mine was normal, some mango yoghurt ice-blended drink. safe, but drinkable.

josh and pp's honeydew sheesha!
hahaha. [cue: inside joke]

upon spying a few friends playing cards while having our drinks, we decided to head over to gen's place (the only one remotely in the vicinity) to play too. there we were, sprawled out all over the multiple sofas in her apartment, having a late night snack of milo (possibly biscuits) as we played taitee. i won a couple of rounds, but even before that, i suggested the winner of each round asking a 'secret question', only to be tragically turned down by pp. *rolls eyes* so much for the show of support.

i'd have to say, last night was funny though. all i remember is laughing for most of it. loaded with sarcasm and the rolling of eyes at one another.

"wonderful world"

*EDIT

"You get me so
Get me so excited

I'm hot, come on, so get it ready
And I'll open my spot for you
Anytime you want me to
So you can

Act bad
Don't hurt me
Look sexy
Talk dirty

And i'll open my spot for you
Anytime you want me to
Get me so excited"

AHHHHHHHHH. the song wasn't played last night, but the feeling's mutual.

butter was fantastic; i'm speaking on behalf of myself of course. i can't say the same for everyone else. judging from the little tidbits of information i've amassed from people around me last night:

1. I WAS VERY EXTREMELY HIGH
2. in a world of my own; apparently standing up and dancing by myself in the middle of the sofa area - where everyone else not me, remained seated
3. on the platform/stage too - i recall being asked up by some girl, who erm.. supposedly thought i was hot, upon my enquiring why she invited me up. question mark question mark.
4. high, but definitely not drunk. no slurring or walking sengeh, no babbling/rambling nonsense, no making out with strangers, no bumping and grinding, no stripping of clothes etc.
5. okay, this is as far as it goes. the rest is either somewhere swimming around in the murky depths of my memory, or private & confidential - for me to know, and you to find out.

that and i slept like a log last night. haha. i cannot fathom how i managed to fall asleep with a towel wrapped around my still-wet hair, turban style. nor could i remember being spoken to in any way whatsoever and you returning to bed from the bathroom or the phone ringing early this morning.

**note: did you know... when i reached gen's place after work around 6-ish, i had the worst headache ever. the kind you suspect arrives after the weather zigzagging around from hotcoldhotcold. i was aching away; i prayed it would go away, because i'd been looking forward to a night out (this one in particular) since the start of the week, it was the ONLY thing helping me get by. popped a panadol-like pill after dinner, and prayed for the best. hot bath, dressed up sexy heh, cleaned the contacts and i was feeling tons better. upon reaching butter however, it came back, kinda. bummer right? but like i said, alcohol always helps. *grin* sure did.

BIG P/S: I DROVE JUST NOW! mother excluded!! we were headed in the general direction of villa bali, but settled on wala, once i realised we were already in the area. the band playing tonight was pretty damn good too.

as i was outside my estate, turning into begonia, cassie's 'long way to go' came on the radio, and in true form, i started dancing (like REAL dancing. heh) pity i couldn't jerk the car, the peeps had dozed off somewhere on the ride home.

i've known myself for a good 20 years now, and i've come to the conclusion that i tend to get excited over the most unexplainable and littlest things. i'm not alone in this train of thought. there are others who think this about me too, told me so.

can't help the fact i'm easy to please :)

i realised one of the 'perks' (if you can call it that) of driving is (i think i watch wayy too much tv/many movies) being able to get out of the car, close the door, lock it then proceed to twirl the car keys in your hand (important: jangling sound inclusive) as you distance yourself from the car - you know, with your finger in the hoop thingy - in that oh-so-cool way, like they do in the movies. hahaha.

it sounds ridiculous, but think: john woo, face off. john travolta and nicholas cage exiting their respective modes of transportation, strong blast of wind, trench coats billowing behind them as they walk towards each other in slow motion. typical hongkong gangster style in a hollywood blockbuster. it was the most featured scene, just ask yourself if you remember any other part from the movie besides that. it's practially the entire trailer!

see, told ya. erm, they weren't twirling car keys or anything, but you get my point. right?

oh and also, the one thing that singlehandedly got me hot and bothered about my new job wasn't the people, or the pay, or the getting off my bum, or anything of real importance really. just the fact that i'd get to decorate my own desk!! whoopee. but i didn't. so peewhoo --> that's the sound of my bubble being burst. the rain on my parade. the yada yada of my balloon deflating.

onto other more, er just other news.

james morrison's 'wonderful world' makes me wanna stand under the sunshine on a glorious day (his delectably husky/sexy voice singing to me via ipod plugged in; volume full blast), in the middle of a breathtakingly endless field of sunflowers with arms fully extended, twirl around in circles till i'm dizzy and out of breath, then collapse to the ground and stare at up a beautiful sky, preferably with a gorgeous rainbow on display. it truly is wonderful.

notice the excessive use of flowery descriptive language such as: glorious delectably breathtakingly beautiful gorgeous, and it was even said in the same breath as 'sunshine', which i am famous for detesting with a passion. the heat irritates me, to be exact, it's more the humidity - ahh but who's keeping track?



and i know that it's a wonderful world
but i can't feel it right now
well i thought that i was doing well
but i just want to cry now
well i know that it's a wonderful world
from the sky down to the sea
but i can only see it when you're here, here with me

you can tell for sure, the effect this song has on me. i feel an uncontrollable urge to grin madly and hum along to the song - as i am doing right this instant. *smirk* fine, i admit his adorably curly hair helps - ALOT - and the fact that he's a mere 21 years of age helps too. ALOT ALOT.

last night, tonight - all fabulous. if only the weekend lasted 5 days, and i only had to work on 2. oh wells, if that happened, then i suppose pigs could fly.

did you know, that they can't FLY, but they can SWIM?

p/p/s: pics to be uploaded, hopefully. once i get my hands on them - whatever evidence of last night's shennanigans must be collected, carefully documented and preserved. now i'm babbling!