Guidelines for life, yo

New Year's Resolutions Guidelines - Things to do before turning 30

1. Enrich Myself

• Sleep at least 8 hours a day
• Drink lots and lots of water
• Eat well; less oily and unhealthy food, more vegetables and fruits
• Take my vits regularly
• Exercise 20-30 mins at least 3x a week
• Leave work on time
• Invest more in skincare

DO:

• Complete the DIY cross stitch I got for my birthday
• Read more books; finish reading How to Build a Billion Dollar App
• Attend art exhibitions, do more cultural things
• Paint / draw, express myself more creatively in my free time
• Learn a new language - Spanish? Improve Mandarin?
• Attend a workshop on Economics and/or Excel
• Attend floral arrangement classes
• Plant flowers, fruits or vegetables 
• Do volunteer work; mentor troubled youth, organize a beach/street clean-up
• Reuse, reduce, recycle

2. Enrich Relationships (Family & Friends)

• Try out new recipes; cook my family a meal once a month
• Organize dinners / drinks, host art jams / game nights 
• Plan a family trip to Korea, friends trip to Bali / Taiwan?

3. Enrich Love Life (Partner)

• Go on dates (do things together) once a month - no matter how casual or small - love isn't always about the big gestures, intimacy is in the little details
• Make plans in advance for travel & adventures! 
• Spend quality time together and apart (refer to section 'Enrich Myself')
• Be kind to each other and to ourselves

I haven't had the urge to write/blog in ages; 'studying' journalism at university and working as a media & marketing reporter for a year in London somehow tainted the experience for me. I type away on the laptop all day every day for work, yet writing for pleasure feels almost foreign now. It's as if I've forgotten how to express myself through the written word. I pray it's like playing the piano; hopefully my fingers will remember the keys even if my eyes no longer recognize the score.

Funnily enough, the day before 1 Jan 2016, I had the rather shocking realization that this would be THE year I turn 30. I felt the sudden and in-explainable desire to pen every single thought in my head. What is that feeling? PANIC. How did I get to become 29 (on the cusp of 30) in the blink of an eye? Why am I so unaccomplished? Endless items on the checklist of life to be ticked off, so many experiences yet to experience, places to explore, dreams and ambitions to be realized... (bad habits to kick, ahem) and so on...

I couldn't quench that urgent desire to write, and it increasingly reeked of desperation. Why the panic to write a few bloody resolutions? I felt pressured to tick items off a list, things I assumed a 30-year old should've accomplished and more importantly, should be. A ticking time bomb (deadline: x December 2016) in the form of a to-do list. How ridiculous.

Halfway through writing this, I realized how silly I was being.

We live in a society where everybody (literally) has something to say about you, to you. From your 95 year old grand-aunt who claims she has one year left and pressures your elder sister/you to be married by June; to your overly conservative and borderline sexist co-worker who tells you you have a 'Fuck You Face' and randomly (read: cryptically) texts you a URL to an article about 'The science of the Resting Bitch Face' (in what one can only assume is a passive-aggressive manner) to your mother who constantly reminds you that you are 'difficult'; and acquaintances who say "no offence" then proceed to tell you what THEY think you are good/bad at, in a backhanded kind of way (based on no real evidence) and what you should do with your life.

You know what? I don't need another person placing unnecessary pressure on me to live up to some imaginary standard and definition of what a 30 year old should be. Even and especially if that person is myself. At the end of the day, all that matters is that I try my best. And so, I shall think of my New Year's Resolutions as Guidelines, after all, isn't life a Work In Progress meant to be tweaked as we go along?

And with that, enough for tonight. Adios amigos x

Happy New Year

(Belated) Happy New Year y'all! 2012 was a year of high highs and low lows, but also one filled with CRAZY fun, adventure, self-discovery, reflection... and copious amounts of alcohol. I have a feeling 2013 is going to be the same, only better ;)

Looking back, it really was - the same, only better.

Kicked off 2014 via dinner and champers with the family - it was pretty perfect is its low-keyness. It also acted as a reminder to get my priorities in check for the coming year. Family first, friends second, everyone and/or everything else can get in line.

New Year's Resolutions
Positivity
Patience (and to be patient while trying to become patient)
Fearlessness
Kindness - to myself, and to others (especially my family)

No. Boy. Drama. (Note to self: Focus on self) - I was meant to stay away from boys all year, so this probably counts as half-done?
Read more, write more
Drink less, exercise more - done
Socialize; catch up with old friends, make new friends. Be less dependent on existing social circle - done and done
Work smart. Manage time more efficiently. Get promoted. Get a raise.
Do more with my life; take a class, volunteer at an animal shelter, mentor troubled youth etc. - tennis, cycling at Pulau Ubin, semi-hiking at MacRitchie - done
Save up for my future - at least $10K
Make decisions and follow through - visit V1 in Beijing, Taiwan in May, London in August. Travel is obviously top of this list - Beijing, Bali & London, Cambodia, Japan!
Sleep more - done

And on that note, adios amigos. It's wayyy past my bedtime.

xoxo

random thoughts going through my head...

1. to heat up pie in the fridge or binge on M&S chocs for dinner? how bout a bit of both?

2. what to wear for my sister's 50s themed party (there seems to be a conflict of themes) at a jazz club in shoreditch next sat

3. how to use curling tongs on my poker straight asian hair for a 50s-style do (re: abovementioned party)

4. am rediscovering radiohead's '15 step' after twilight rolled its credits to it

5. fyi: robert pattinson is sexxxxxxxx. cliched, but have you seen his hair?!

6. i DO NOT feel like doing work tonight, but i must.

7. hmm.. to take a half hour nap or not? that is the question.

8. what should i pack for amsterdam? rephrase: what does 40kg allow me to bring?

9. oh god. amsterdam. please x10 do not turn out to be another rochester.

10. sleeeeeeepy.

11. nude patent strappy charles & keith SEX heels turn out to be jimmy choo knockoffs. tsktsk.

12. am still lusting after them. BADLY. and deeply regretting having ever walked away in the first place.

13. learn to be comfortable in your own skin. life's too short to be anything other than yourself.

14. i still haven't figured out whether to be a) a jack of all trades or b) a master of one

15. must. do. work. tomorrow. (technically, today) but first, must wake up at 10am.


xoxo

16. must get back into the swing of gossipgirl + greys

itinerary for bfff''s visit to singapore

shopping
orchard road - far east, wisma, heeren, cine? taka?
bugis - village
vivo city

culture
chinatown
little india
arab street/haji lane
ann siang

nightlife
zouk
canary?
MS
butter

chilling out
holland v - wala
sentosa - cafe del mar
book cafe
one rochester?
villa bali!

touristy
zoo
botanical gardens - picnic?/ breakfast?

supper/food
jalan kayu
thomson
dempsey - ps cafe?
***** (mine and roy's secret place)


I NEED SUGGESTIONS.

ANYONE. HELP PLEASE? man i'm so outta loop with the ins and outs of singapore. i wanna make sure mandi has the most fabulous time ever. *wistful* i wish lili was coming too, that would just make my year.

sigh. it's moments like this that i wish we had another car i could drive. seriously, it would just make my life so much easier :(

calling: emergency COT meeting. need. to. brainstorm. asap.

are you in/out?

IN/OUT

country. uk/sg
occupation. student/employee

course. promotion/design

birthday. 21st/18th

party. london/ -

drunk. puking on a bus/pulling neon guy's shirt

place. cambridge/rochester

friends. bfffs/bffs

boys. good bad boys/nice heartless bastards

crush. * * */**** ***

accent. english/american

scent. issey miyake/ralph lauren
curlyhairedboy. NIL
hair. superlong/longish
layer. layerx3/layerx6

dress. vintage/mass produced

gown. 21st birthday goddess gown/ -
bag. cracked leather/black leather
colour. mauve/pink
boots. heeled ankle/knee high
weather. breezy/freezing

season. spring/winter

confectionery. cupcake/ -

destination. rome/paris
holiday. chinese new year/christmas
book. a concise english-chinese dictionary for lovers/sex and the city

show. gossip girl/grey's anatomy
status. takenish/single
year. 2008/2007

i love lists.

note: got this off some girl's blog, but the answers have all been changed.

3 things to do before you die
1. travel the world
2. be somebody/make a difference
3. have a bag named after me

3 names you go by
1. vic/vick/vict/vicky/vicks
2. dicky
3. v2

3 screen names you’ve had
(to be honest, too many to recall)

3 parts of your heritage
1. chinese
2. singhalese
3. crazy (i get this from my mum's side)

3 things that scare you
1. edward scissorhands
2. being eaten by sharks
3. losing the ones i love

3 of your everyday essentials
1. handphone
2. ipod
3. purse

3 things I’m wearing right now
1. topshop b jeans
2. topshop floral top
3. esprit vest

3 of your favourite bands/artists/OSTs
1. damien rice
2. little miss sunshine OST
3. grey's anatomy OST

3 of your favourite songs
1. songbird
2. because of you
3. qing tian

3 things you want in a relationship
1. love/romance
2. communication/trust
3. stability/security

(technically it's 6, but i couldn't help it)

2 truths and a lie
1. i have forgiven/forgotten the ex/hk person
2. lovelife-wise, i'm the happiest i've been in years
3. i wish i knew what happened on 18/8/07

(go figure)

3 physical things about the opposite sex that attract you
1. a pretty face
2. voice
3. smell

3 of my favourite hobbies
1. sleeping
2. eating sweet stuff ie: chocolate-anything
3. being a nosey parker/trivia genius

3 things you want to do right now if you could do anything in the world
1. rob selfridges (i'd head straight for the marc jacobs' rack)
2. leave school and go on an indefinite roadtrip - anywhere but here
3. kidnap mandi/lili and smuggle them into the uk

3 careers you’re considering
1. ice cream taster
2. fashion stylist/journalist/PR
3. professional sleeper

3 places you want to go on vacation
1. bahamas
2. maldives
3. new york

3 kids names you like
1. angelica
2. connor
3. dylan

3 ways that you’re stereotypically a girl
1. i love pink
2. over-emotional. i cry at the drop of a hat.
3. v. clucky, says mandi. i ooh and aah over little kiddies.

3 ways that you’re stereotypically a boy
1. morbid fascination with creepy crawlies
2. i can be quite gross (ask my brother)
3. i like to check girls out

i love lists.

i <3 lists.

checklist:

1. change of foreign currency**, wallet, phone, ipod (essential tool for survival on long bus rides, especially for a music junkie/'heavy user' like me - acc. v3)
2. sufficient underwear, a pair of socks
3. a set of tshirt & shorts (for morning hikes with her family)
4. a pair of jeans and a tee (i'll probably be wearing it on the journey there), a day dress, an extra top, 1 fancy top (for a night out, just in case), a cardi
5. a pair of flip flops (i'm done with covered toes! - for now) and nice shoes
6. makeup kit, contact lens + case, saline, specs, brush, rubberbands aka hairties
7. accessories, an appropriately-sized bag (that can take me from day to night), sunnies

i think i'm about done here.

itinerary

- get a haircut&wash***
- watch harry potter**
- SHOPPING!!***
(on the prowl for gladiator sandals/casual jerseys for easy layering)
- other girly miscellaneous stuff

i'm superduper psyched, can you tell? i'm glad to get out of singapore, even if it's just for a couple of days and a few hours away. *shrugs* that's good enough for me.

the last time i spent a good proper day or so with jolCOT was end 2006, during our only trip to jb. boy am i looking forward to thursday; (i hope there will be) talks late into the night, combatting the midnight munchies together, doing all kinds of girly things only joleen would indulge me with > mini makeovers, sampling samples of beauty products. oh, i miss you :)

"I'M THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE."

my top 10 favourite things of the moment:
in random order

1. bodyshop's mango bath & shower gel

2. zara's heather tee with
"i'm the most important thing in my life." emblazoned in neon yellow

3. white summer dress, topshop - i've been scouring all over for one since last year!

4. erdem SS07, for re-inspiring me and redefining (the) "pretty" in fashion

5. luella's retro-cutesy powder pink sunnies

6. the 'whistle song' and my 'cinderella' song - courtesy of jacky

7. "whatever you think, think the opposite" by paul arden

8. zouk's new black & yellow flyer
"DON'T TECHNO FOR AN ANSWER"

9. fish & co.'s hot fudge chocolate with vanilla ice cream. can you say YUM?

10. what the heck is a mandarina duck?

to do list:

*get (more of) a life (outside work)

*meet new people, socialise/network

*buy more (intelligent) books

*try not to feel so guilty about spending money on clothes (for work)

*be a better person (daughter, sister, cousin, friend, co-worker, lover)

*stop bitching, in general

*shut up and listen to my mother, at the end of the day she's only acting out of love

*pay attention to diet given current irregular mealtimes, stop being such a greedy pig

*drink more water

*spend more quality time with family at home

*read the newspaper everyday, be in-the-know on current affairs

*cleanse, tone, moisturise, exfoliate, do facial mask

*remove makeup properly every night

*get over **** ***, it's about damn time

*do not give in to past-lovers


... and i'll err, keep thinking.

38 ways to live a good life.

note: this is a literal translation from a magazine that i was reading ( i can't say i was reading it if i didn't comprehend most of it, browsing more like) at my afterwork chillout place, starbucks.

don't say you haven't been forewarned.

though, i must say i really worked at it - translating/summarising it from chinese to english - to the best of my abilities. i even sought advice from jacky&anny (the experts) seated beside me as i scribbled away (in what i can only call my signature scribbly illegible handwriting) in my notebook.

note II: i kinda added in some bits myself, from what i recall having read in the mag.

1. rest for a day - really rest, do nothing at all.

2. throw away your ex-lover's things or auction them off on ebay - money beats memories anyday.

3. learn to dance - any kind of dance - i think.

4. buy insurance. (mai bao xuan)
5. buy condoms. (mai bao xuan tao)

inside joke, you won't get it.

to think i actually cocked my eyebrows in genuine curiosity as i questioned the pros (as they debated) about the meaning behind this phrase.

6. laugh - REALLY laugh - burst out loud/laugh-like-you-mean-it type of laughter.

7. go on blind dates.

8. go on/for a weekend spa.

9. go for medical checkups - once you hit 25.

10. two words: destination travel.

11. quit smoking - applicable to smokers only.

12. take vitamins/health supplements.

13. eat more vegetables, less meat.

14. exercise! be disciplined about it!

15. invest in a comfortable pillow.

16. keep your receipts, do monthly accounts - it's a pain but a necessary one - in order to keep track of your spendings/savings.

17. curb your shopping sprees - invest in property, pay rent/mortgage.

18. read books - being well read enables you to be more cultured and to carry out good conversations.

19. be prepared for all things,

don't be a stupid smart woman! (bu yao zuo yi ge ben cong ming nu ren) - have an umbrella, panadol, jacket at your disposal (at work).

20. prepare a (home-cooked) meal for family and friends.

21. say "i love you" to family/friends/lovers - be a woman's woman; all soft and stuff.

22. don't drink too much (alcohol).

23. you must move forward in life

0-18 yrs> have a good family
18-35 yrs> have a good appearance
35-55 yrs> have a good character
55 yrs and above > have cash, truckloads of it

24. LEARN TO SAY NO!

25. reignite your childhood passion/dream.

26. LEARN TO LET GO - be it in your marriage/love/family/career.

27. donate your old clothes to charity.

28. buy sexy lingerie.

29. your beauty(skincare) products should be better/more expensive than your cosmetics.

30. LEARN TO CRY - but not at work (that would just be unprofessional) or in the presence of a man who doesn't deserve it.

31. time waits for no one - grow old gracefully, save plastic surgery for the rich. use your age to add to your wisdom - or something to that effect.

32. cut a suitable hairstyle - don't change for the sake of changing, be yourself.

33. dress appropriately - leave a good impression.

34. be friends with technology (be tech savvy) - learn to deal with computer viruses and how to change a lightbulb.

35. cherish the experience, don't always focus on the outcome - "women are not born, they are made."

(we mature and grow into women)

36. increase your income - by means of investment/entrepreneurship..etc. don't be content working for the same boss your whole life.

37. some things cannot be borrowed - try not to keep borrowing or lending people things.

38. don't let your ex-lovers come back - either those who have betrayed you or those you have betrayed. if they want to reconcile, please reject that offer.

a man like that is not worth your sympathy.

to do list: short and long term

1. get better/take meds dilligently
2. eat more veggies/fruits/drink water
3. remove dog hair from skinny jeans
4. start keeping receipts/do accounts monthly
5. stick to resolution #5!!
6. cut down on clubbing/alcohol consumption
7. remove makeup thoroughly every night
8. buy makeup base
9. keep an eye out for gorgeous dress to wear during SFF
10. stop complaining/bitching about you-know-who

IN/OUT

IN/OUT
occupation. worker/bummer
party. butter/phuture

birthday. sss/cv
player. ipod nano/muvo slim
crush. NIL
boy. **** ***/**** ***
type. nice heartless bastards/heartless bastards
relationships. short-term/long-term
curlyhairedboy. NIL
hair. long/short
clothes. more/less
bag. cracked leather mulberry satchel/all else
belts. mummy's vintage stash/others
gold trinket. ipod/heart locket
hoops. M thick shiny silver/L thin rusted gold
colour. heather grey/pink
footwear. shoes/slippers
car. driver/passenger
weather. cold/hot
holiday. chinese new year/christmas
blog. sunday/big girl world
book. a place called here/a place called there?
b**s. straight/gay
spree. bkk 07/bkk 06
association. BHG/ACP
name. dylan/isaiah
mc. steamy/dreamy
late night suppers. 7am/3am
jmorrison. wonderful world/you give me something
reminder. notebook/hp calender

expectation. none/some
status. single acting single/single acting taken
year. 2007/2006

20th birthday wishlist

20th BIRTHDAY WISHLIST 2006

.mp3 player/camera. 1

narcisorodriguez for her. 2
.starfruit lipglaze, stila. 3
.girlboxers, topshop. 4
.brown leather thong-sandals, GAP. 5
.gift vouchers from topshop/forever21/zara. 6
.grey's anatomy DVD + OST season 1&2. 7
.little miss sunshine DVD + OST. 8

.gold unicorn brooch, tattydevine at tang+co. 9

.**** ***. 10

note:
i probably won't get half the items off this list,
but hey, a girl can dream.

love, the snobbish slut.

september list of favourite things.

the snobbish slut's
SEPTEMBER LIST OF FAVOURITE THINGS:

1. my 'drama queen' badge, topshop.
2. my 'gorgeous gold' eyeshadow, MAC.
3. hold hand boy, courtesy of jon chong.
4. cold breezy drizzly rainy stormy thunder&lightning-y weather. LAYERING!
5. my glue gun/quick fix.
6. 'your love is like a marching band'.
7. my new webcam/webcamming.
8. my lovely samsoon.
9. my mother's vintage waist-cinching belts.
10. getting, got a life.

this was a tough one, it was. too many FABulous things to include and only 10 spots to fill out.

the following consists of almost-made-it-onto-my-list's: james morrison/the kooks, synonymous with the revival of curly hair. bangkok, and the things it brings. fragrant loreal blush. EL-NIN-YO! red toenail polish. my internship at bazaar.

NOTE: SPANKEW! to the makeupgroup, who surprise-presented me with my birthday present 9 months after my last birthday and 3 months before my next. the funniest thing ever.

the gift: 'gorgeous gold' eyeshadow, MAC!

make up from the makeup group, how fitting.

please allow me one last wallow.

1. boobs spilling out of dresses with too low a v-neckline to not be wearing a bra. get some support, will ya?

2. too much under-eye concealer/foundation
(note: visible under the eye only; such that it forms a white line across the top of the cheeks upon camera flashes) it's like faye wong's 'pink sunburn', only white.. and unintended/tional.

3. over-excessive fringe/bang-action going on, it's almost like your face starts below your hair. oh, and you have no eyes either.

4. everyone in your clique is donning identical 'vintage' accessories and chipped red nail polish. (on purpose and most likely scratched off a coupla hours before hitting the town)

5. the smoky eye effect is no longer an 'effect' when your entire clan is rockin' the look.

6. sometimes a skirt is really meant to be just that... a skirt. not a dress, top.. etc. (note: differs from case to case)

7. the messy-hair, half here-half there thing was cute for awhile, find a new look my dear(s).

8. you don't have to pretend to be of legal age when you're not, you're probably the only ones thinking you're getting away with it anyway. plus drinking till you're drunkasaskunk was never cool, doubt it'll ever be. red faces just don't cut it. period.

9. please stop pressing your arms at your sides like that, i know you're trying to push/force your cleavage out, but really. eyesore much? you can be sexy without being slutty.

10. lindsay lohan has an entire 'greatest hits collection of tricks and poses' for the red carpet; ie: the scowl, peace sign, leg cross, over the shoulder, arm behind the head. choose one, the peace sign is getting a bit old, even for me.

fashion crimes of the young and the restless.

love, the snobbish slut.

1weekhibernation

at the end of each semester, everytime someone pops the question "what are you going to do when this is over?", the ubiquitous answer is: SLEEP. strangely enough, i never seem to be able to follow that trend and/or the 1 week hibernation i promised myself.

now i can finally enjoy my quiet time alone and languish in my favourite time of the day; night. with eva cassidy's songbird gently stirring in the background, wearing my comfort pjs, all tucked in bed snugasabuginarug, laptop in hand and typing my thoughts away; i'm in heaven.

no one knows just how long i've waited for this moment, not this moment per se, but you know... the end. (i don't want to think about it, i don't want to talk about it, i don't even want to touch my damn tp email or msn. i just want to hear the words: IT'S OVER)

which is probably one of the reasons why i get all warm and fuzzy just looking at my store name. Thank God It Arrived. it means so much on so many different levels. it means everything. if you've been through what i've been through, you'd get it. (i know you do, ADMers)

moving along, i've come up with a list of things to do now that *beep* is over.

#1 remember how i left off the last holiday? SEW THOSE DAMN DARTS! 2 more to freedom!
#2 get my driver's license
#3 get a job
#4 research on unis overseas and alternative degrees/career choices
#5 practice piano (prep myself for the grade 8 exam, take 2)
#6 jog, swim, play tennis/badminton... etc STAY ACTIVE!

and do all of this while catching up with friends, partying, clubbing, shopping, watching movies, sleeping ALOT... you get my drift :)

*yawn* night night.

p/s: i'm actually looking forward to the pizza lunch thing in school tomorrow. i hope they order pepperoni pizza *drool* my fffavourite.

my tribute to me and you

my tribute to me & you

2005 came and left, now 2006's here to stay.

as this year's new year resolution #1 (which i shall strive to keep) i shall continue to be the naive gullible dreamer that i've always been and insist that the world is perfect, everyone is nice, relationships last forever and that 'the one' aka my knight on a white horse really does exist.

because... i'm tired of being cynical, and jaded, and whathaveyou.

#2 school and work is important, but having a life is just as, if not more so, important. i don't want to go through life studying and working and forgetting to just, live.

which brings me to...

#3 relationships. in the past, everytime i was going through a particularly trying time at school, i subconsciously built a wall around myself, keeping everyone and everything out. i neglected my family and friends, expecting them to automatically understand and be supportive, but in that (very long) instance, i forgot to act like a decent human being and be there for them as well; ignoring msn greetings, not replying emails, not picking up calls and/or picking up calls but putting them down just as quickly with a brisk 'i'm sorry but i'm busy, i can't talk right now.'

i behaved so selfishly, assuming that the world would revolve around me, dancing to my rhythm and working around my schedule 24/7. i forgot the simple basic fact that everyone else had a life outside of mine.

over the years i've learnt the importance of preserving the relationships in your life, the key ones especially; the precious jems in life are far and few between- the family that loves you regardless of how frequently you fart & burp without warning, regardless of the tantrums you throw and/or the way you scream & jump on the sofa when watching 'ROCKY II',

regardless of anything & everything.

the same bunch of girlfriends that have seen you grow through puberty, bitchy backstabbers and their vicious untruths, your father's death, breakups & makeup(s) [get the pun?] and all sorts of curveballs life has thrown your way. the ones whom you can not see or talk to for months on end and yet, when you meet up, everything's the same. nothing's changed.

the ones who bring out the best in you, your absolute favourite side of yourself.

the boyfriend who welcomes you into his heart and home, who holds and comforts you when you cry, who kisses away the pain and tears, and tells you you look adorable when you know you look like crap. he who calls for no reason but to hear your voice and makes you miss him when he's sitting right next to you. he who makes everything else an afterthought. he who makes you wish life was devoid of school/work and revolved around just the 2 of you.

he who heals your wounded heart and makes you believe in love again.

to be continued...

i-wish.updated.

i wish
the updated version.

to first times and farewells.

at long last, i get to indulge myself in one of my favourite favourite things; snuggled in bed, tucked in my comforter, soft pillows supporting my back, bolster at my side - typing away merrily at my laptop. be it blogging or concocting nonsensical emails to my friends,
i don't care.

i finally have time.

no one has any idea what that means, how much it means. except probably my ADM friends.

to constantly have to rush and sew like mad people, covered from head to toe in loose thread, sewing machines rrrrrr-ing away like motorbike engines being revved, eating in the canteen unaware of the measuring tape hanging around our necks. sigh. to be stuck in limbo; caught between panicking and crying at 3am or giving up and sleeping.

any-way. a hah! now i know what it means when they say, err, actually i forgot what they said. something about how your true friends will show themselves in times of dire need: although this isn't exactly a particularly needy time of mine. if you haven't been updated, this is the lowdown.

*in chinese, it would be 'chang wen shuo duan', which in direct translation would sorta mean 'long story cut short'.

so, my eyes were reddish and had a little yellowish discharge (i know i've repeated this a billion and one times over the past few days, bear with me)

discharge mummy, NOT PUS!
pus just sounds gross.

- me being a busybody poked around and disturbed brrrnest on msn about his nick
- turns out some red eye virus has been passing round school and s'pore
- we went to see dr chia/killing two birds with one stone
- checked my eyes and got a prescription for new specs

the outcome: it was a mother and doctor gang up against 'rebellious teenage girl who ignores her mother's fine advice and has a vanity issue, WHICH IS NORMAL BECAUSE ALL TEENAGE GIRLS WANT TO LOOK NICE, it would be abnormal if i didn't' -- or so he said.

you see, nobody listens to me. i felt like i was talking to the wall and the wall was ignoring me but at the same time accusing me of being vain (yet normal) and defiant (yet perfectly normal as all teenagers ignore their mothers) and ignorant (yet, and i repeat NORMAL) to wear contact lenses even though she has sensitive eyes. helluva wall.

my eyes had developed an allergy to contact lenses 90%, and a slight infection 10%. resulting in my laying off lenses for a while, and wearing glasses to school for the first time in my three years in design.

i was reluctant, but not unwilling. in the past, vanity would've kept me from doing so - it was my worst nightmare to have to reveal my true self to the public - but i'd like to think that with age comes maturity, and maturity says that it doesn't matter what you look like, because you're still the same person underneath those outdated slanted metal frames that got lost in my bed the other day, and are now 'sengeh/beng koh'.

some people were very kind, asking about my eyes and all. thanks :) i've been sick for the past week or so, sore throat, fever, cough, you name it. and minutes after my mother warned me not to scratch myself on the rusty mannequin, that's just what i did. i got a superficial cut on my leg from the mannequin stand bottom.

more drama ensued.

so i told him what had happened, and thanked him once again. i had to go make new glasses. they're purple plastic frames. i pray i don't get the new specs syndrome. you know, because when you go and make new specs, you take off yours, put on the frame and you're looking into a blurred mirror image of yourself. what is the point, i ask? you can barely see where your eyes are, let alone how 'chic' you look in the new ones.

then i was relating my rubbish worries to brrrnest about how i might end up being mistaken as one of those VSC blackplasticframe wearing dudes. hah.

but as brrrnest said, and i quote, "haha okay. so you're gonna have the geeky emo chick look. it's better than red eyes!"

couldn't have said it better myself.

for the past three days i've been trudging to school, slanted specs notwithstanding- to the open eyed, mouths agape reception from my classmates. most of them had no idea i even had a degree, well neither did ernest, he confessed. aha. i was a bonafide nerd/geek. i had to field comments like 'eh you wear specs ah?' 'wah so thick' 'why so thick ah?' 'i can't get used to you like this' 'how many degrees?' 'haha you look so intellectual' 'you look like a nerd'

most of them relatively normal questions except for the mean ones from ah nan and jesse bebe, which i think were a joke haha. we were pigging out at chomp chomp when they asked me if i was going to wear my specs to liquid room. i countered with, "and what if i did?" they replied, "then we don't know you." GASP.

it was sad huh. sitting in the pub with lijing & co. i scrolled through my handphone gallery, looking at the images in a bid to remind myself that i wasn't ugly. it sure felt that way :(

i felt so unglam in school, looking at all the lithe young things running around in school aka freshmen in all their flower in their hair coordinated glitter shirt tweed blazer wearing pointy toed stiletto long peasant skirt newsboy cap multistrand bead parades.

i promised them a total and complete transformation the night after. though upon receiving my new purple specs, i had the urge to go clubbing with them on! yeah, they're THAT funky. but i was still a little dizzy, so i went with the contacts. i have to admit, it might sound vain, but it was nice to see my familiar face again. even sharon said i looked fresh, finally.

oh well, it was fun. it would've been better had he been there. looking at all the other couples around me, i felt envious. i just wanted to hold him and dance with him, my classmates all were all clambering to meet him. hah. but i know he probably had more fun with his friends.

i felt like i knew everyone there. from juniors to ex schoolmates, to current schoolmates, to friends' friends, to my sister and her friends, to jacky and his friends, to a judge on the panel, to all round familiar faces. even my sister's best friends (they're twins) elder sister's boyfriend, who was Dj Ko Flow. that was nice. supper afterwards was even nicer, it was simply hilarious. it was the first time in our lives that we clubbed together (my sister & i), the first time i hung out with her friends and the first time since she came back from UK that we spent time together.

she's leaving today.

i don't like the word 'cheers'. it sounds pretentious to me. i'll sub it with 'yam seng', for obvious reasons. YS to first times and farewells. to my dear sister & friend, we'll meet again.

ordinary vs. EXTRA-ordinary

the past few entries have been quite 'emo' or so they say, so i regret to inform that this will be just another one of those entries. it's days like these that i feel so... ordinary. eurgh. i shudder to even let the word roll off my tongue. it leaves a rather unpleasant aftertaste.

O-R-D-I-N-A-R-Y.

what's wrong with being ordinary?
well, technically, nothing.

as if being ordinary isn't bad enough, i don't need to want to have to convince myself otherwise.

my friends have modelling/singing contracts + STARDOMHEREICOME! written all over their perfectly porcelain complexions, not to mention lithe/slim/vertically unchallenged bodies.

this brings me back to the days (not too long ago/secondary school) when my wishlist read:
1. i wish i had perfect eyesight
2. i wish i were prettier
3. i wish i were taller
4. i wish i were smarter
5. i wish i had a boyfriend

3 years later...

wishlist:
1. i wish i had perfect eyesight
2. i wish i were prettier
3. i wish i were taller
4. i wish i were smarter
5. i wish i had a boyfriend

my my.. how things have changed.

you know what? i retract my earlier statement about not wanting to convince myself etc. if i can't be happy being ordinary, at least i can bitch about the merits of being EXTRA-ordinary.
hmm. i wonder if i'm the only one who just saw the irony in that.

things i'd do if i were EXTRA-ordinary:
i would munch on celery/carrot sticks/lettuce/allkindsofrawvegetables
like some damn rabbit.
i would obsess over every single strand of hair. I TOLD YOU IT HAS TO BE PERFECT!!!
i would dance like some vibratic robot because letting loose and waving your hands in the air is NOT PERFECT!

things i do as an ordinary being:
relish the fact that my hair will never stay in place when i eat and that it grows in a rightward direction. be comforted by the knowledge that if one fine sunny day singapore were to be covered in snow at minus many degrees, i would have my little tummy fat to keep me warm. be proud that I HAVE A BUTT and a sexy one at that. fact #37: tall girls have a harder time finding boyfriends.

i watched initial D last night and a memorable quote (due to extreme repetition) stuck.

"gods used to be human. but when gods did what humans could not, that's when they became gods."

i shall rephrase:

"EXTRA-ordinary people used to be ordinary people. but when the EXTRA-ordinary did what the ordinary could not, that's when they became EXTRA-ordinary."

now, who says being ordinary wasn't fun?
i beg to differ.