On My Playlist: The Clash - Rock The Casbah

Ridiculously early start today; this must be the first Saturday in weeks, scratch that, months, that I can actually recall being a) awake b) active and c) semi-functioning before noon - with the aid of copious amounts of caffeine and greasy food (of course).

Up at 8.30am after a fitful night's sleep, got ready and left the house at 9.10am. By 10am we were at Jam. A cup of mocha and a bacon-egg sandwich later, and I'm seated on the leather chesterfield, shortlisting jobs to apply for. Yay me!

It also helps that I've got The Clash on replay, both the original and remix version of this:




Enjoy!

xx

lfw

london fashion week

there was an astounding rip off fee of 25 pounds for a rail and tube ticket - despite our student rail card, we paid full peak hour fare. oh, the agony.

"london fashion week better be worth it!" said us, all 25 pounds in worth.

we dressed for some dude (aka the designer who upon stepping gliding through the door confirmed that cliche about designers with his opening line [after the airkisses] "is anyone free? can someone grab me a starbucks?"), his designs were all sequinny/glittery and stuff. i managed to sneak some shots in, illegally. will upload if/when i can.

ooh, loads of drama ensued backstage. this lady manicurist somehow managed to spill varnish on some model's chloe bag. man was she pissed. from all the f words pouring out her mouth on the phone with her agency, you could tell it was a gen-u-wine chloe. she was in a right fit.

in between the breaks, we helped ourselves to the M&S sandwiches on display - delish. and the fruity concoctions at the red bull juice bar, ultra yummy. that almost never happens in singapore; you know, the dressers being able to sneak in a few bites of free food and drink. most of the time, we're backstage literally starving to death while the high society tatler types drink wine and make small talk.

took photos and videoed betty jackson's show.

we made the unanimous decision not to spend anymore moolah in london, to make up for the ridiculously overpriced tickets. the guilt still eats away inside of me.

after the show, we ventured into the natural history museum, took some photographs whilst fooling around in the exhibitions. got bored and left. bones and old rocks can only do so much for me.

went to H&M, topshop - AHH! FREE MAKEOVER + coffee, courtesy of fashion week. i got like a cleopatraesque turquoise eyeshadow and eyeliner that curls up at the end - i swear i was afraid to look into the mirror. passerbys kept giving me random odd looks like, "freak!" but it was shu uemura so i thought it was relatively safe to entrust my face in their hands. the whole of today, walking down oxford street, i felt like this crazy colourful girl with the tangerine nails, turquoise eyeshadow and bright purple jumper. shivers.

we walked what seemed like 20 blocks down to primark, as a measure/indication of how far we travelled, we passed by THREE H&Ms in our search for primarche (ha ha. whoever pronounces it that way is in serious denial) - bought 2 pairs of gloves (yellow&grey) for a pound and a pretty 2 pound silver/bronze belt.

summary: it wasn't so bad after all. i rather enjoyed my day in london. we definitely got our money's worth, what with all the goodies we sought out. i think the aim of the game was to see how much free stuff we could get away with. but never again. (the money i mean, not the free stuff. free-ness is always welcome in my house)

"we have to take our, clothes off!"

See here's the thing

We have to take our, clothes off!
We have to party all night
And we have to take our, clothes off!
To have a good time
Oh no

last night, i made a toast. erm, as far as my memory serves me, i'm assuming it went along the lines of "here's to retirement!!" .. or something like that.

[1 jug of vodka lime, 1 glass of long island, 1 heineken] x2, it was 1-for-1. (fyi: that's just round 1, i'm not sure what licco/sham ordered for round 2 heh) -> the amount of alcohol we consumed, which isn't much - considering what others down in a mere few minutes.

i had loads and loads and oodles of fun. i loved the company, licco sham car jenny: too. much. fun. the music at phuture was actually good all night; the dj spun every hot song there was - tokyo drift, sexyback - just to name a few (i can't seem to remember the rest too well. oops!). deb wrote in one of her emails, "You seem so into the social scene of Singapore. " personally, i doubt it, but i am trying to get as much fun in as possible, till i have to leave, because i have not a clue as to what's coming up for me in UK.

so party people, let's party up!

p/s: i honestly didn't know where to hide my face (or dig a hole and bury my head in it) when i saw jenny on monday night at topshop - my face felt really warm and i couldn't stifle my giggles, i waved though.

i bet she was thinking: ohmy, there goes the crazy woman.

i was there to meet car and hazel for dinner. after the complete and utter fools we made of ourselves on saturday night (unlike our daytime alter egos slash professional fronts we put on for work [me especially]), i don't think i could ever look at her with a straight face again. haha. sharifah told licco that i was so far gone on saturday night.. and so... i'm not 100% sure what that sentence ended off with. i do know that isn't something to be proud of, spare me - it was my one night of revelry!

5:58am

first and foremost, *carefully enunciating words* my dear dear mother, woke - no, yelled/shouted/hollered (take your pick, i can never choose one and just go with it) - me up at FIVE-FIFTY-EIGHT AM (5:58 am) this morning, so that we could leave the house by 6:30 in order to deliver v3 to school on time then rush over to the visa office by 8 sharp just so we could be first in line.

she simply refused to begrudge me two measly minutes, you know, round it off to 6.
stingy poker. it was all i could do not to shrivel up and die - i kid, i keeed - i'd like to think i took it in my stride, packing my pillow into the car (what else can one do?)

any-way, she totally owes me 10 bucks. she confidently bet that i'd be late this morning, and she was WRONG. pay up mother! haha. shoot, i should've raised the stakes.

ooh, this i have to spill. i was paid the ULTIMATE compliment yesterday.

longstoryshort: i was diffusing a situation with these 2 korean ladies (in their mid 20s). we ended up chatting up a storm upon my eavesdropping and hearing the word 'tim' being mentioned (hot korean singer dude who apparently is friends with one of them) which led to an intense discussion of korean drama serials> the prince from goong> my lovely samsoon> daniel henney> Jung Ryeo-won

aka Yoo Hee-jin: goooorgeous girlfriend of the rich dude in my lovely samsoon, she with the enviable rapunzel-like luscious locks, slim super lithe frame, to-die-for designer wardrobe, perfectly accented english and of course the chocolate-coated cherry on top; having a (singular) kissing scene, heck ANY scene with daniel henney, who personifies BEAUTY itself.

THEN, she drops this bomb: i apparently have korean features (she actually asked if i was local), must be considered fairer than most singaporean girls (i vetoed this vehemently), am of the same size as hee jin!! (who was supposed to look sick for the role but in real life is not that tiny), am prettier than her!!?!? (she saw her without makeup) what the.

so yes, i was/am delighted beyond belief.

i've never met anyone who left me feeling so chilly/icy/cold before. i literally shuddered (for a good few minutes after her departure) with her "DAHHLING" and the airkisses. oh god. i hate airkisses, unless they're done by the french. otherwise, it just feels fake. you should've seen the look on my face, utter disgust. err, constipated much? thank goodness she doesn't have eyes behind her head. this has got to be a first; would i be a total bitch to say i like her even less now than i did before? and i never liked her to begin with. eek.

the littlest things.

i love my job.
i love my job.
i love my job.

on days like these (that never seem to end), chanting the lines above merely act as a gentle reminder, in order to get oneself out of bed in the morning.

(if you are working, you should know what i mean)

moving along...

unlike the majority of the workforce, i have the liberty to wear whatever the ___ i please. (most of the time)

yesterday's theme was: little miss san fran.
floral print empire top, with puffed sleeves. faded bootcut jeans, ripped at one knee. stone grey tailored vest. gold daisy pin/brooch. yellow canvas mary janes with straw soles.

a little bit hippie-chick, a little bit boho free-spirit.

i'm sorry if describing my outfits everyday brings me joy - i get it, cheap thrills and all that - but it is one of the few things that sustain me. especially after being on my feet for 8.5 hours, with every ounce of my being having been drained away. and besides *shrugs* i've long said that i find joy in the littlest things.

do you hot chip?

note to friends: if i'm starting to sound like a broken record with one noticeable common factor being mentioned over and over again, please let me know. i'll stop, pronto.

onto other more exciting news/fodder for gossip: today, i served two customers from korea (korean, obviously), lovely ladies they both were. they tried on (and later purchased) mountains [i mean it when i say 'mountains', and might i add, i'm using the word as delicately as possible] of tops, bottoms, dresses, belts, accessories, shoes.. etc.

point being, we chatted as they tried everything on, and i managed to unearth this juicy bit of information: one of them actually goes to the same gym as daniel henney aka gorgeous ABC dude from 'my lovely samsoon' and joo ji-hoon aka icy-cool prince of 'goong' fame.

SCREAM!

no seriously, i nearly had a heart-attack upon learning that. i literally started shrieking and squealing and did this series of little jumps for joy (on the spot). putting aside professionalism for a microsecond and grasping the fact that i am after all a fully-functioning female with hormones running amok - that was an ahem, appropriate reaction.

in case anyone was wondering, the gym in mention is california fitness (IN KOREA). note: i should charge them for this free advertisement. heh. who wouldn't wanna start working out at california fitness if there's even the slightest chance of a daniel/ji-hoon sighting? i would :)

they even extended an invitation to the both of us to ring them up/email if we ever visit korea, i was a littlelot (sorry, bad english i know) intimidated by the individual bills they rang up (which i'm not at liberty to disclose) in the few hours they spent in the shop. i had the impression that their definition of 'cheap' and mine differed by a few thousand dollars, min. i told A that one shopping trip with them as tour guides might bankrupt me, and the next thing you know, my entire travel expense would have been blown and i'd be waving to her on the next flight back to singapore.

i think they could read my mind (i must train my face to be more discreet with its expressions) and quickly offered a slightly more affordable (i hope) alternative: night markets.

this is what i love the most about my job: meeting all kinds of interesting people from all over the world. i've met celebrities, heard stories straight from the horse's mouth about the celebs over in UK (girls aloud, keira knightley, sienna miller, kate moss), met a stylist who once worked for teen vogue US etc and is currently launching her label here, met a couple of cool mother and daughter combos who shop together, and the list (most definitely) goes on.

<3<3<3

i've got a feeling

agenda: a day of r&r with the best buds, as far away as humanly possible from my workplace/*.

and so we lounged in/outside and basically all around the pool at gen's place, like little lazy lizards. heh heh. sorry i just had to make that beyond crappy joke, and play with the use of alliteration. it was fantastic, just what i so desperately needed; i flopped over to lie on my tummy (the other two in the water) talking about everything under the sun (literally), and some particularly pressing matters at hand, which i shall refrain from putting into black and white - please read between the lines for once, let's keep them guessing shall we.

loads of uninhibited laughter and casual banter is probably what the doctor would've prescribed, i sure am one patient cured in that case. it was most definitely a midweek pick-me-up, i'm hoping this will keep my spirits up for the remainder of the week, at least.

lately, i've been feeling down (like, REALLY down) - due to a 'stellar' combination of events/factors/people, which once again i shall avoid mentionining like the plague - josh says that these days i'm hardly the same vic he knows and loves, no longer as bubbly, happy or half as insane. shocker! i had no idea i'd been so unhappy, until i was told that it showed, even on the outside. then there's that one person who had/has that unexplainable effect on my stomach and its contents, and... sigh. i feel my heart sink to my feet just thinking about **** ***.

my heart has been feeling so very heavy
these days,
that much is true.
please tell me what i should do.

"icecreamy"

the life of a fashionista:

this much i'll say, it's been busy busy busy. i've hardly had time for a breather and/or proper sleep for that matter - unless you count today - which was a breeze compared to the hectic week i've just had, singapore fashion fest and all that jazz. i wouldn't say i emerged unscathed, but i'm still standing aren't i? none the worse for wear (i shan't speak too soon, let's just keep our fingers crossed that statement isn't something i'll live to regret), well on second thought, no.. not reaaally. i've been in and out of the doctor's the past week, down with a serious bug - a bad case of the flu, cough, sore throat, slight fever.. you name it, i got had it. in comparison, the state i'm in - is oodles x 10 better. at least i'm not spreading my germs by coughing/sneezing in everyone's face for the time being, that's gotta be a step in the right direction.

this is the first time the entire week i've actually sat down, turned on my laptop and taken a quick peek into my inbox. the past few days has been so bad, it was all i could do to keep myself from collapsing on my bed night after night, filthy clothes and makeup notwithstanding. and you all know how i just can't function like a normal human being unless i've got my technology surrounding me. mobile, laptop, ipod [all high-tech gadget-y stuff]

i really shouldn't be blogging, when i should be sleeping, i've got to work tomorrow - precious minutes going down the drain because i simply can't bear to be away from my blog aka my only outlet, unfortch i can't bitch or update much because i promised myself not to talk about work. "no bringing of work home" is my motto, so come by topshop, if'/when you do, just give me a ring and i'd be more than happy to give you the grand tour of my private room and/or grab lunch. funny thing is, when i was free no one really came by but the past few days it's been such a crazychaotic mess; i've been getting call after call asking where i am and if i'm in the shop working, but the timing's all been really jinxed so they always seem to catch me just as i'm leaving for someplace else or entertaining clients.

sorry guys: jacky manda josh isk caine saqib gaurav gen jj stacie etc etc. (if i've forgotten to include your name, sorry. again.)

come by again! i'll be there this time round, i promise! crossmyhearthopetodiestickaneedleinmyeye.

fyi: fashion fest was insane. more than glad the unique fashion show is over. thought i might shrivel up and die on the spot from all the stress of running around and making sure everything went off without a hitch. plus i was feeling majorly shitty (beyond words) that day, honest to god i don't know what's up with my body at the mo, my head's really screwing with me; getting half sided headaches and making me pop pills like nobody's business/a drug addict, it's ironic really, i wouldn't call myself a sickly person neither do i feel ill often but of late it's been a bad habit almost.

popped over to fashion bar (yes, it's my job to been seen and heard at these places) for the afterparty, grabbed a quick bite then back to socialise. camera, lights, action! dk enters and suddenly our tables clears, leaving the two UK style advisors alone in the headlights. they get us to join them and she's yapping away. i'm nodding and trying not to squint too much with the glaring lights in my face, reminding me of the light shining over you in the dentist's chair. not a pleasant memory. anyways, now that that's done with, she leaves, not exactly leaving a fantastic impression - but oh who cares really, i'm sure she doesn't give a hoot. or two.

i'm sitting there thinking to myself: i really hate this publicity shitstuff, i hate the PR-ing, i destest all the fake stuff. but it's my job and i've gotta do it. so i tell myself, if i'm gonna PR my way through this, at least be nice about it, and be as sincere and as genuine as possible. i end up talking to the CEO (who i promptly mistake as a producer. typical.) of a mtv-esque-meets-star world (his description) network in malaysia. it's apparently one of the hottest/top 5 channels in m'sia. the guy i'm talking to is also apparently 'the man about town' back in his country, and i'm like this nobody, yakking away to him about absolutely nothing and everything - which i find ridiculous, in the given context. he's incredibly down to earth and i instantly love that about him, and his colleagues. no airs, no frills, just very honest and open. i'm so pleased to meet such people, i always get so excited at these little things, i feel like a schoolgirl again.

oh right, i felt so prada/miu miu during SFF. the night before the big event, everyone was picking items off the racks to wear the next day. it was especially important for me to be dressed in something super glam, now that it's practically my profession to be stylish. i'm not being sarcastic here, i actually do mean that, i have to. it's my job to look good, not that i make the cut everytime, but i certainly try. haha. it's cute really, everyone's like: i'm buying this and that, fyi this is done so as to coordinate and make sure we don't end up wearing the same thing. it's supposedly a big deal over here to be caught wearing the same thing as someone else. it didn't even occur to me that another person might turn up wearing my dress. thank god no one did. quite a bit of good luck involved, amidst all the other mishaps. big sigh of relief there.

my outfit was basically a little shift dress in the most gorgeous of shades (done in a silky fabric) - this perfect amethyst - with super short sleeves, pretty much capped sleeves really. tons of tiny little gathers right below the neckline, empire waist, with a sash to go along (tied at the back). the neckline's pretty high both in the front and back so that bit's a little conservative, however the dress has this brilliant little slash that goes up the back from the top the of the dress to just where the zip starts (around the waist). i thought the length was a tad on the short side, but everyone else said it was lovely to show a bit of leg, i'm taking that as a compliment.

i accessorized with my mum's vintage chunky statement piece, made of ivory and other assorted stones, worn with small aqua stone earrings to pick up on the colour, then a gold bracelet and another shell one. i donned my sky high grecian goddess wedges in lime and gold. altogether, i must say i felt ultra glam.

note: i can't help the way i'm speaking now, it's been the influence of the UK style advisors and their english. we all can't help help feeling a bit british at the moment. all the "lovely brilliant excellent darling icecreamy fantastic gorgeous perfect marvellous" etc etc.

so that's my weekly update all crammed into a couple of paras. i'll be back. asta la vista baby.

today, i had the worst case of monday blues known to mankind. it was a lethal combination of pms (brought on by natural causes: hormones) + pms (point of origin: severe humidity) = bitchy/black face.

then came along my saviours - gen and josh - to save the day! (even though it was i, who donned the gold wonderwoman/WWF belt) happy juice; kiwi strawberry snapple (even though it leaked in my bag). movie; stomp the yard. man, i haven't had popcorn in ages. i like that i laughed so much i can't even count how many times or recall what it was about. i haven't sat in billy for-ever, in my head i imagined he had been repainted.

good ol' times. brings back alot of sweet memories; like nearly suffocating while waiting for josh and joleen, talking to myself to keep myself awake and from being 'poisoned' to 'death' by 'carbon monoxide'.

eyelined eyecandy.

a peek into the mirror is an easy indication of what i need to do now; sleep.

i summoned up the willpower and utmost strength to lift up my heavy lids and peer at my own reflection, all i see being bloodshot eyes, smudged makeup and a half-dead girl staring back at me.

too much has been happening.
i'm really tired out from work - and i'll leave it at that.

also TODAY, from somehow imagining that the morning shift starts at 9 [when it actually starts at 10. this is what working in an office does to you! (past tense)], hence waking up at 7, leaving at 8, and reaching orchard by 835; where all the shops haven't opened - borders inclusive - and i have over an hour to kill.

cue: trusty starbucks, treating myself to a medium raspberry frappe and my eyelined eyecandy - what a pleasant surprise to receive too early in the morning, when i'm still not done being a grouch, though i have to admit rather un-reluctantly, the sight of him put a little grin on my face almost instantaneously heh.

i have got to find a way to be more discreet about catching glimpses of eyecandyboy, because i'm certain he knows it and owns it, and surely girls stare at him all the time. blah yada yada. it seems that everytime i just so happen to glance over, he looks up, eyes boring right into mine, even from so far away where he is behind the counter. so i think. and i dart my eyes away immediately, which is such a giveaway.

i seat myself in a cosy corner, on a sofa mind you - probably the only time i'll ever get to perch my bum on one - and read URBAN, with as much seriousness as if i were reading TIME magazine. times up. i leave. no turning back. no glance over the shoulder. just purposeful strides, up up and away!

work. lunch. work.

gen arrives at 5pm for her appointment. we leave around 630, when i officially get off work. we wander around like little lost sheep that are in fact not so very lost, just wandery-ish. being spontaneous and unplanned is our new thing, haven't you heard? we consider having the ubiquitous $1 ice cream for dinner whilst walking past a stall, then brainstorm dinner options at borders. i knew the time to make a decision had arrived when i found myself dozing off while leaning against the glass wall in the magazine section. nydc mudpies, breadtalk bread... we settled on far east.

i'm so poor it's sad. pathetic even. every morning the staff have to declare the amount of money in their wallets, i notice most of it goes: $50, $48... mine's: $4. whoopee.


over and out dudettes, and dudes.
ywan ynaw yawn.
weariness affects spelling.

and i'm lovin the topshop playlist:
tilly and the wall - sing songs along. i wanna dance/prance crazily like them, wearing neon colours to boot! MY NEW HAPPY SONG: they noticed how i stare at the tv screen like some dazed twit on occasion, mouth agape and all. justine electra - fancy robots. very very soothing. almost sleep-inducing. lullaby.


love love love.

today, a customer (a lady) advised me to quit my job to become an air stewardess! she said that i was very pretty and that it was wasted in this line (i think she assumed i was a salesgirl), despite my protests that i was too short to be one, she said that her daughter (around my height) had been working as one for almost 10 years, she started when she was 18. she's so cute.

i <3 sundays.

i figure, since i have to work on a sunday, might as well look gorgeous while i'm at it. so with that thought in mind, i donned my prettiest frock and off i went (to work)!






love, me!

p/s: i love sundays so much that i even named my new hot pink nano in its honour. "sunday", what a pretty name. you know who you are: thank you for buying it for me. i love love love it to bits and pieces.

first day, new job. II

1st of march:
i reported for work at 9:55 am,
barely 60 minutes later,
i was sent home.

looks like my anxiety stomachaches have all gone to waste - for today, at least.

due to a severe miscommunication between the people up there - nothing to do with me - i ended up sitting pretty and waiting for my in-charge - who never showed up - to brief me, for approximately an hour. but i'm not sad, or upset, or angry, at all. au contraire, i'm jubilant! happy! free! this has got to take the cake for being the best first day of work, ever!

after i was sent packing, with their apologies of course, i called up the mother with the news. on hindsight, i'm seriously glad this mishap happened. otherwise, i would not have had the honour of the other two tan woman extending the invitation to tag along on a day of R&B. (read: spa)

TRUST ME, SO WORTH IT.
i definitely got the better end of this deal. *snickers*

that aside, A STRANGER SAW ME NAKED!
and i did not

a) faint/scream/shriek
b) go temporarily insane and seek cover under the massage bed
c) shrivel up and die from embarrassment

i consider not having done all the above, as having overcome a major psychological barrier.
*pats self on back*

scenario #1
whilst she was scrubbing my back, i was completely in my element; that being sleeping/napping. however, the millisecond she made me flip over from lying on my tummy to my back, i got nervous. i was feeling stressed! at a spa! i was wondering what was about to happen next, when without warning, she WHIPPED my towel off me.

there i lay, as bare as a baby's bottom
(save for the minuscule-y flimsy piece of fabric mascarading as disposable undies)

if the waves of shock hadn't permeated through my body, paralysing me in the process, god knows what i might have done. for example: screaming bloody murder! and using my hands to preserve what little shred of modesty that remained, which had all but been outraged. *runs and hides*

thank god she was professional. i sure as hell wasn't.

scenario #2
poor girl, trying her darnest to massage me, while i bit/pursed my lips, clenched my teeth/fists - anything to stop myself from laughing out loud. but bit by bit, my smile turned into a grin, into a giggle before i exploded: erupting into a psychotic fit of full-fledged laughter. amidst my giggles, i managed to get out "i'm sorry. i'm ticklish." as a way of explanation. she attempted to coax me into calming down, but the instant i felt her fingers touch/prod/massage the area around my stomach leading to my belly button, and then my belly button itself.. i'm sorry, it got the better of me. haha

the scrub + wrap was amazing. i've never felt so clean in my life. when i was muddied, wrapped up in a plastic sheet, covered with towels and left to bake, i felt like a chicken being soaked in marinate before being put in the oven. the mud they applied smelled minty and stinged; like standing in the breezzle (breeze + drizzle) after a long day under the hot sun, feeling the raindrops cool your warm skin in drips and drops all over. LOVELY.

p/s: i spent the entire day thinking of *.
note to self: i must toughen up! don't be so soft-hearted, woman!

miss moonlight.

my nano, my saviour.

my first day of work didn't start out all so great;
clutching my too-full balenciagaknockoff in one hand
a lunchbox containing my breakfast of a cheese muffin
vitamins rattling away, in the other
the instant i turned on my ipod,
and pressed 'play'
it hung.
the first time i try to use it, it hangs!?!?
unbe-frickin-lievable.
luckily, vicanda provided a quickfix.
all was saved.

the second i plopped on my earphones, i felt the tension melt away; like the delicious sensation of cake frosting dissolving on your tongue. my nerves loosened and my mind/body went into groove-mode. i've been deprived of music on my daily commute for so long that the strains of music sounded almost foreign, i could not believe i almost registered with the silence, instead.

ooh, my moment arrived soon enough,
with a big BANG too...
the second tokyo drift came on - that was IT.
i started jigging and bopping around subconsciously
in the super saturated mrt train, mind you.
glee!
trust me, if you knew me
you'd know what it does to me *big sappy grin*

i absolutely cannot wait for friday night!
butter factory. doubletriple whoot.
so little time, so much to do.
gotta start working on getting my social life in order.
tick tick tick.
goodness, first day as a working class citizen
and i'm already plotting my comeback;
back to being 'miss moonlight',
as debs has kindly christened me.

p/s: AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, i am working in a 99.9% predominantly female environment. time to go holler hurray! on the mountain tops. whoopee for me.

p/p/s: ben & jerry both cheered me up a fair bit :)

first day, new job.

today is my first day at my new job.

i don't quite know how or what to feel;
i've finally put songs into the ipod i've had for weeks now
i've packed my new esprit notebook, with pen
a book to read on the train
bought a pack of oil blotters and nivea lotion
chosen my outfit, shoes earrings bag too
i'm waiting for my mask to dry, while sucking a lollipop

what do i do now?
sleep? i suppose.

wish me luck.
i' m keeping my fingers crossed.

p/s: but hey, if i have a bad first day,
there's always ben & jerry waiting for me at home.

that's always a consolation.

day two.

day two.
physical condition: bruised & abused.

in short;
- gucci paper bag titanically big enough to fit 4 dead bodies snugly inside
- getting stopped by police everytime i entered the mrt station, result of said gucci bag
- toting chanel back and forth like the tai tai i'm not
- too many brands i can't pronounce
- i just found out,
I CAN'T SPELL DOLCE & GABANNA EITHER!

wait.
turns out I WAS RIGHT.
it is DOLCE & GABBANA.
she was wrong then.

3-in-1 pack oreos, 2 chunks chocolate bread, 1 pack meiji jelly sweets
keep me alive&kicking.

tomorrow's agenda:
photoshoot, in at 845am

i can't wait for the opportunity to write something, anything.

p/s: UW has not been recovered/yet to be recovered, though the former is more likely.
depression in full force over lost RB/UW.

gluegungirl.

first things first.
just call me the gluegungirl. triple G.

ever since mummy bought me my new fix-it-toy, i've been rummaging around my room, on the prowl for any broken objects that needed repair. to date, i've gluegunned the leg of the photo frame that fell apart in primary/secondary school, the hand-sewn/beaded denim hairclip i created in my freshmen year, attached gold rope to the anchor of my newly created brooch, mended my black button earrings and fixed my blusher brush that split in half while i was halfway across europe.

i'm now convinced that my glue gun can SAVE THE WORLD! aka the woman who appeared on the oprah winfrey show claiming that she had gluegunned everything in her house. from the embroidery on cushion covers to curtains to everything! lazy bum. ever heard of a sewing machine? hee.

today was my official first day as an intern at harper's bazaar. as aptly summed up by the newly departed (not in the morbid sense) LS, "they made me their bitch."

an ominous departing message, but it's not like i didn't expect it.

summary of first day: tuesday blues. product shoot 'best dresses of the year.. or something'. updating contact details, branded watches. a ridiculously kid-sized lunch (i'm going to shrivel up and die if i keep eating this way). famous amos! (singular highlight of my day) getting lost underground/raffles place. no jeans. NO JEANS!?!? returning of garments. back to office. early release. feet hurt like a motherBEEP.

note: this is the first and last time i'm wearing heels to work.

in a helpful and worth-applauding attempt to dress well aka anne hathway's intern andy sachs in the devil wears prada quite like myself, i've painstakingly lined up all my necklaces, bracelets, brooches, rings, shades.. etc any kind of accessory i might want to wear to work is neatly lined up in rows next to my dressing table, sorted according to category mind you.

dressingupmakesmehappy**

p/s: dear god, this must be one of the most ludicrous requests you've ever received from me, but in the recent days, i've lost not only my precious RB but my favourite UW. please please please, return them to me.

despite the sore throat, blocked nose, phlegm building up at the back of my mouth, backache and aches all over my body, hot eyes, blood pounding in my head, disgusting aftertaste of one too many dual-action strepsils, this has got to be one of the best mornings i've had in too long.

because, i don't have to go to work today.

i'm too sore and in pain to give a yell of hurray! but just know that if i could, i would.

technically, it isn't official - because i haven't informed the big boss yet - but regardless of whether they allow me to leave or not, in my heart it's over. at last.

i proudly proclaimed once that when i go to uni, i would like to try my hand at waitressing - to see what it's like to have to stand on my feet all day and to learn the value of money - please, whoever witnessed that, erase it from your memories and if i EVER say that again,

shoot me.

how easy it is to make such sweeping statements, but to actually mean it, is a wholly different story.

and i say that, because i think i have learnt my lesson; i understand the value of money, or at least i'm beginning to. now before i buy anything, i calculate how much i earn in an hour and how little it takes to squander it on the unnecessary. i am capable of making the comparison between what is worth its value and what isn't, which i find, is a skill i should've picked up ages ago.

by the way, why didn't i?

did you know that the $4+ it takes to buy a starbucks' small sized hot cocoa can buy you a $3.95 burger king MEAL (with the use of the coupon, of course)?

i didn't know that either, and the day i made that 'stunning' revelation, i was the only one in the room with surprise registered on my face.

i expected them to nod their heads in hearty agreement, but instead my colleagues simply retorted,"yeah.. you mean you just realised?"

goddammit, i just stubbed my small toe on the sharp edge of my wardrobe. it hurts like hell, and back. sigh, i guess that's my punishment for being a devil child.

which FYI, is what the boyfriend calls me.

"the devil child" he enunciates with great relish.

walking away.

continued...

i made the call to the big boss and informed her i was leaving. no fuss no frills. just a simple "i would like to resign" affair, i thought. wishful thinking indeed.

she, true to form, screwed me inside out and upside down. all done very subtly - i can't say i was very surprised. i had been dreading making the call - would you expect any less?

i still stand firm by my decision to call her after the trip to the doctor's, had i called her any sooner, i would not have had the ammunition of 2 DAYS MC to argue my case.

anyway, now that i've sucked all the poison out of my life (where have i heard that phrase before? feeling: deja vu), the worst is over and i have but a new day to look forward to.

[plans are already underway, to take my dusty SLR out to play.] i rhyme i rhyme.

I GOT IT!

[mean girls. the ending: lindsay lohan waxes lyrical about sucking all the poison out of her life. *pats self on back* my mind works in ways quite beyond my comprehension. my memory for such trivia never fails to amaze, at times, and in favourable climates/atmospheres.]

though her taunt hangs over my head: are you responsible enough to give me 24 hours notice to find a replacement? which in layman's terms means: after your 2 day MC and off-day on wednesday, will you turn up for work on thursday?

HELL NO.

i would have liked to be (responsible), but 3 reasons.. no 4, keep me from doing so.

in order of importance

1) who in their right mind would show up to such a hostile 'welcome' after resigning? look sista, i never intended to throw you for a loop; right now you may be angry and disappointed, i can understand that.. but in the long run, you will (eventually) be grateful for my honesty in admitting to having zero passion for sales and not being able to give 100% at work.

i had every intention to stay for at least 6 months or longer, until uni next year but the longer i worked and the longer i procrastinated in quitting, the more unhappiness i was repressing.

some saw it, some didn't.

they said,"if you're so unhappy, why don't you just quit?" i was taking this job very seriously, and it's precisely because i was taking it so seriously that i decided to leave. imagine if i had stayed 7 months then decided to take off? would that have been a better decision?

due to your harshness in my plight and your adamant refusal to see the light (from my point of view), i can now turn the tables on you and declare: I AM THOROUGHLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

2) i'm still sick and returning to work on thursday will only prolong the time taken for me to return to full health and regain the use of my voice (which i am sorely missing. ha ha get it? SORELY for the SORE throat.)

hardy har har to me. i know i'm not funny. no need to laugh people. no, really
*hands up in the air, wave em' around like you just don't care*

3) will i miss being put under 24 hour surveillance by the ever watchful S and M? ha ha. S&M. another pun unintended, but oh so hilarious. imagine their offspring if they ever got it on. okay, that's enough visuals to last me a lifetime barfing in the loo. don't be mean now vic. don't ever stoop to their level.

anyway, the answer is still a big fat NO.

"don't squat." "don't talk." "don't greet everyone that comes through that door." "don't look fake." "don't serve her, she's doesn't have the intention to buy anything." "stay here, so we can keep an eye on you."

i've had plenty of do's and don'ts these past 4 weeks, enough is enough.

4) i just can't go back.

my colleagues would be sympathetic enough, they're probably the only ones who get it. 1 confessed that she had been losing sleep just thinking about resigning for the past few weeks. 2 have resigned in the past month, 1 of which is just working till the end of the month. 1 was terminated last week for not showing up for 3 days consecutively. 2 are on leave because they are sick of the politics and the disorganisation that is the place, 1 of which says that if you don't see him after his vacation is over, it means he's not going to continue working there. the rest are hunting for other jobs or contemplating leaving as well, because of the prolonging of their confirmation letters and CPF.

there's no turning back now, just pitter-patter...

that's the sound
of me,
walking away.