i've got a feeling

agenda: a day of r&r with the best buds, as far away as humanly possible from my workplace/*.

and so we lounged in/outside and basically all around the pool at gen's place, like little lazy lizards. heh heh. sorry i just had to make that beyond crappy joke, and play with the use of alliteration. it was fantastic, just what i so desperately needed; i flopped over to lie on my tummy (the other two in the water) talking about everything under the sun (literally), and some particularly pressing matters at hand, which i shall refrain from putting into black and white - please read between the lines for once, let's keep them guessing shall we.

loads of uninhibited laughter and casual banter is probably what the doctor would've prescribed, i sure am one patient cured in that case. it was most definitely a midweek pick-me-up, i'm hoping this will keep my spirits up for the remainder of the week, at least.

lately, i've been feeling down (like, REALLY down) - due to a 'stellar' combination of events/factors/people, which once again i shall avoid mentionining like the plague - josh says that these days i'm hardly the same vic he knows and loves, no longer as bubbly, happy or half as insane. shocker! i had no idea i'd been so unhappy, until i was told that it showed, even on the outside. then there's that one person who had/has that unexplainable effect on my stomach and its contents, and... sigh. i feel my heart sink to my feet just thinking about **** ***.

my heart has been feeling so very heavy
these days,
that much is true.
please tell me what i should do.