"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" cue mad laughter from my mother, the sadistic beast.

i was chewing/mid-swallowing beehoon and trying to speak simultaneously when the following event occurred. i nearly choked to DEATH.

DEATH I TELL YOU.

there i was - my hacking cough getting from bad to worse, food projectile flying out of my open mouth, egg and beehoon on the floor - trying desperately to speak but the chilli that went down the wrong pipe refused to let me do so.

instead, i was forced by the sheer power of that shred of chilli, onto my knees, my one hand a vise gripped onto the table at my side, the other held to my chest trying to insert some wind back into me.

and all this time... [the camera moves over to the unidentified figure in the corner of the kitchen]

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" the sadistic beast.

the harder i choked/coughed/hacked my guts out, the harder she laughed -- until she was all-out gurgling with mirth. giggling, laughing, any form of girlish behaviour is unknown to said sadistic beast, so this was a shocking display of another lifeform at work in my mother's body.

you know how those amaths graphs work, when one variable decreases, the other increases? well, if you can apply that concept to the coughing-laughing relationship aforementioned, then you've got the gist of it.

by the way, i'm still alive.
WHEE!