where are you?

Where are you?

Sarah - i assumed we'd be best friends till ... forever. i really expected to attend your wedding and you for mine. i thought that day would come just as you imagined (though pretty unrealistically); me, pregnant housewife *rolls eyes* holding the hands of two kids and you, multi-tasking businesswoman pulling out several handphones from your stockings. i never thought you'd cut us out of your life, with no remorse. nothing.

i've held back from saying anything i would regret, but try as i may, i can't avoid this. even if i don't think about it during the day, i've been dreaming of you at night.

yesterday i woke up with a dream fresh in my head. i don't know how long i've been dreaming the same dream, but i know it's not the first time. you and me were walking in a vast field; looking left or right, i can't see any signs of life other than green grass. we're walking back to my house. upon reaching my gate, i turn around and you're gone. somewhere along the way, you simply upped and left. i can't describe the feeling of emptiness that penetrated my heart when i found you were not there, a loneliness so deep it hurts to talk about you.

they keep playing this song at topshop, and it reminds me of you. she talks about waking up from a dream - even though hers is a romantic connotation - and wondering if the person she's looking for is right before her very eyes. somehow, the amosphere is appropriate - it applies.

my heart gets quiet when i hear this. for you, sarah.




Roy? i have to make things right with you before i leave.
Desmond? i miss you so so much my dearest friend.
Sheryl? i'm so worried, i can't call you or your house. where on earth are you?

there are a select few i never imagined in my wildest dreams would come to this; you are one of them. i thought you and me; even if we weren't together, could still be friends. i guess that was really foolish of me. it saddens me to have to resort to such means, but it seems to be the only way i can have peace of mind. your words pierce like sharp daggers, and you always seem to know just what to say to get to me. i know we won't ever get back together or be friends, unless you're willing to accept my conditions.

it's gotta be my terms or none at all.

anyway, the ipod has been ready for collection for a long time, you never turned up when you said you would. it's sitting in a corner of my room, collecting dust. please pick it up, i don't have time to deliver it over.