insomnia

bloody hell. blogger has been screwing up wayy too often these days. if this post doesn't come out, too bad. there's no way i'm re-writing this for the third time.

let me see. i'll try to recall as much as i can.

"You want answers?"
"I want the truth!"
"You can't handle the truth!" - a few good men.

last night was pretty screwed up, save for a few good moments scattered here and there over the span of the entire night, the rest is not even worth a mention. i'd rather EAT MY TOES than go through that again. remind me never to believe sarah again when she recommends a 'cool place'- with the exception of last friday's fez bar- or maybe it's just the company that really makes the night.

it started off with a movie star opening. scene 1: enter me, flying out of the house. scene 2: me frantically trying to hail a cab. [keyword being "trying"] scene 3: skirt flying in the breeze as i swoop in on an unsuspecting taxi driver. scene 4: i glide into the taxi and feed him directions all the way out of my complicated estate right till the train station. scene 5: i get on the train, off at town. i meet & greet the girls.

1st choice for dinner was marches, but the queue was too long. up we went, 2nd choice being billy bombers, 3rd choice sake sushi. the fastest moving queue was BB, so we went in. when my hotdog came, sarah kindly and 'gently' reminded me of a certain sam. so there it was, on the table before me and i could do was stare, half-fascinated half-disgusted. i exclaimed,"how do you expect me to eat this after what you've just said?" and laugh she did.

at one point, we came THIS close to losing it. i was discussing my sausage and sarah; a certain part of the male anatomy, respectively. broc was the only one getting it. both of us thought we were talking about the same thing, but remaining on completely different frequencies. her: "it's so TINY!" me: "it's SO big! i can't even put it in my mouth!" her: "WHAT?!!? did you say what i think you just said?" broc: "wait, what are you talking about?" me: "my sausage" them: "ohhh.. "

boys. relationships. breakups. bastards. break my heart's. drive me crazy's. he's so hot's. argh. been there, done that. on and on they chattered, incessantly might i add. given my inexperience and unfamiliarity with the topic(s) at hand- boys. sex. gay boys. gay sex- they were talking more amongst themselves then with me. at one point, i was so bored, i lay my head down on the table- in the middle of a supposedly hip happening live band club- the band had not arrived yet let alone started playing. i could've downed my gin&tonic, grabbed my bag, swung my legs off the high stool and walked out of insomnia, all done in class, style and grace *smile* without a single soul noticing.

something worth mentioning: after paying for my unreasonably expensive drink, i decided i was going to get someone to buy me a drink. broc and sarah were unexplainably amused by this campaign of mine. they said that in any other country in the world- maybe, in singapore- the chances of snowing are higher. they were all ready&set to watch me make a fool of myself. BUT my game plan was to remain where i was, not doing a single thing to lift my butt off the stool, yet still get someone to offer to buy me a drink. i know how it sounds, and yes it did not happen. but i figure we left too early to tell. hah.

broc casually made this remark,"you used to be so boy-crazy. now you're so... dead. what happened to you?" i suppose i can make the comparison between myself and those underage clubbers; when you start young, you get jaded fast. after awhile you get bored with the lack of wit and intelligence surrounding you and look for something else to occupy your time. in my case, primary school was probably too early huh? why is it ALWAYS about them DAMN MEN? yeah, notice the rhyming at play here.

i'll TELL you what happened to me. it's not that i loved him or that he meant alot to me. it's not that i was so heart-broken that i had difficulty moving on with life. it's that he showed me what a fking bastard guys are capable of being. it's that he singlehandedly proved that myth wrong: the first times are the sweetest. yeah riight. sweet my tanned ass indeed. it's the bitterness that's the hardest to swallow.

so&so kissing in the tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. first comes love, next comes marriage. then comes so&so with a ba-by carriage. a more accurate depiction of that ditty would be: i'll skip the whole kissing tree shite, it's more like K-I-L-L-I-N-G anyways. first comes hurt, next comes anger. then comes me with a voodoo doll, a wooden stake and a book of spells to curse him into oblivion. and that's just the alcohol talkin'.

whatever happened to single young females "girls just wanna have fun" type of nights out?

since we're all about the truth, i'll hand it to you on a silver platter. right here, right now. about the whole SIP shit, i don't want to talk about it because in all honesty, i'm pissed off. i'm honestly pissed off that she's better than me. that she turned down an incredible opportunity, to fight for the same job. i'm pissed off that she's not as scared as i am about going head-on with me/her. i'm pissed off she's so damn good. i'm pissed off that i have to fight for something that was supposed to be mine, SOLELY mine.

you: i really wish i knew what was going on in your head babe. i wish you could just be honest and talk to me, like last time. is it because you think i like him? i don't think i do. i think it's impossible. a silly infatuation, based on the tiniest of meetings. i'm giving up on them men. honestly. i'm gonna kick back, relax, put my feet on the coffee table (even though my mum has banned that) and read a magazine. i've said it a billion, done it less than ten. but based on what broc said, i guess my 40days&40nights thing may have been in effect all along, even while i thought it wasn't in operation. about the other one, i don't like him. it's not my fault he feels the way he does. it's not my fault he's getting on my nerves, even though i know he's a sweetie at heart.

the outfit: i absolutely ADORE what i wore last night. broc said,"it's so YOU."

the hot pink and white striped knit halter top with collar and adjustable tie at the waist. BYSI.
the light and fluffy white tiered skirt. far east.
the faded denim gathered jacket with light pink rose embroidered on left chest, press stud collar. hk.
the white open toed flats with pink stitching at sides. trendyzone.
the sister's camel-coloured shoulder bag. MANGO.

new pictures.