talkin talk is not just talk, being there is half the walk

HISNAMEISNICK!HISNAMEISNICK!NICKNICKNICK!

*ahem* compose yourself please. *breathe in, breathe out*

my skaterboy's name is nick *smile* thanks to my reliable source of info- agent eden and her underground contacts. even though my perfect guy's name is jordan (i shall explain some other time), nick is well.. okay-able. i can make do with it. when audrey told me about his jersey with BENNY on the back, i had kinda gotten accustomed to referring to him as skaterboy or 'benny'. at least i have his real name AT LAST, after like a million years.

to virginia: i read your blog, and i gave it some serious thought. let me explain. it's not that i want what i can't have, then when i get what i want, i don't want it anymore. it's probably more like, BY THE TIME i get what i want, i don't want it anymore. for example: i wanted nothing more than skb's number, when i finally met him+spoke to him at a party+got his number for orientation.. i didn't like him anymore. it's like, i waited so long for that, but when i finally got it, it was nothing special.

so you see.. usually, the anticipation of meeting someone someday while knowing that you two could never be, is better than the real thing itself. somehow, the flesh and blood version never fully measures up to the one making guest appearances in our dreams. it's comparable to eye candy that you watch from a distance. you don't want to meet him, for you know that the meeting would ruin the impression of him that you have already formulated in your head. some things are better left unsaid. some guys are better watched from afar.

we girls, *sigh* all suckers for pain.

but in your case, you've met him. he not only measures up to your expectations. he exceeds them. but there's a flaw. (there always is) the biggest one of all.

NO, he's not GAY! he's taken. (if you ask me, i prefer the gay option. at least with that one, there are still possibilities)

and *snap* just like that. you can't have him.

in my case. i have this nagging feeling that even if agent eden does somehow work her PR magic and manages to 'hook us up'-> her words, not mine! it won't be the same as the image i have of him in my head.

we get our hopes up so high, only to be disappointed in the end.

disappointment-ville, here i come. erm.. virgina.. yours is unrequitedcrush-ville, make a right.. then a left. yup, that's it.

okay.. i know i said i would delete it once it was done being pointless. so i deleted most of the useless parts. i just kept the 'ville' part for old times sake. it's not MY fault if the smallville ads keep popping up on tv!