let me cry.

take a deep breath victoria. deep breaths. honestly i don't think i can do this, i don't know how i'm supposed to get through second year - 3 essays (2 drafts and 1 i have yet to start) 8 seminar readings, 1 sketchbook, 1 scrapbook, 1 journal supposedly - i'm combining them all into one, JUST BECAUSE.) that feeling, you know the one where you feel like you're drowning but the waves just keep crashing down on you? that's the recurring feeling i've been having every. single. day. i've also become unbelievably emotional; getting teary eyed everytime i have to leave a familiar/loved one, ie: virgi, ngr etc. whenever i'm riding around in trains - alone - i get nostalgic and reminisce endlessly. about what could've and should've been, about how life could be so different if only...

yes, if i could do it all over again, i would: study in london, live/eat/work/play in london, kidnap the bffs and magically convince them to stay, rent a pastel coloured house in notting hill and live with said bffs, and so on and so forth.

i've heard this all before, because i've said, wished, dreamed, prayed for all of this at least a million times before, and look where it got me? nowhere. i'll only irritate myself (and everyone around me) further by harping on it anyway.

24 days till i go home.

dear god,
till that day comes,
please give me the strength
and courage i need to get through this.

LET ME CRY, LET ME CRY!
because i'm drowning and there's no one here to save me.