little miss independent

sometimes, i really hate being female.

because along with my fondness for all things pink - amongst other factors - entails a perpetual state of being over-emotional (increasingly evident in the recent month or so), the perfect example being.. err, right now?

i just got off the phone with my mother. uh-oh. that can never be good.

she screamed. i screamed. (that never gets us anywhere but it doesn't stop us from doing it) she screamed some more. basically, she screamed at me until i broke down and cried. it was regarding money matters/bank stuff. sigh.

tough love folks.

though at the end of the phonecall, she noticed i was quietly crying hence, softened her tone considerably. she demanded to know why i was crying, i told her: i just miss my friends. i didn't add that she hadn't had a go at me like that for the longest time, and i was upset by it. i mean, who likes to be yelled at? but i have my pride, so i said nothing.

after she hung up, i sat down on my bed and cried and cried. i don't even know why. it felt like that time i was a little girl and got lost in the supermarket. perhaps it was because i hadn't heard my mother's voice since i left after christmas and the first time i do, she's hopping mad - at me.

she rung back and admitted after checking her accounts, that i was right after all. she spoke in a calm reasonable manner and was really nice all of a sudden. i think she was aware of the extent of my grief. (knowing me: i'm not the type to cry for no reason - i'm more likely to argue/scream than to break down unless i'm truly remorseful/upset) i started sobbing, telling her how miserable i've been since my friends left, and how i can't concentrate on my studies.

she then informed me of my sister's arrival in london tomorrow (sg time), suggesting i take a day off work and spend time with her. after confessing that i was homesick having NOT heard from my family and friends, she also promised to call me every weekend :)

i guess what they say is true: you don't know what you've got until you lose it.

who knew that i (self-confessed emotionally-independent girl) would miss her family so much?