why is it that no matter how where i go or what i do, i still can't climb out from under her shadow? it looms over me, like a dark cloud perpetually threatening to bring forth rain at any given time, without warning.
all it takes is one photo, and i'm back to feeling like that scrawny primary one-er, eager to carry her barbie schoolbag out of the car into the house, anything really, for some form of recognition, validation, in her eyes.
i have issues, that i know. tell me something i don't know.
why is it that i can't get over my fear of talking to intelligent people? because he hated stupid people, and you always made me feel stupid. you know what, i don't even know who i'm referring to anymore. why is it that when i meet someone and he/she tells me they studied/are studying law/medicine/politics/banking & finance, i immediately feel intimidated, subconsciously back away, and my wall goes right up? it's all because of you, you, and you. you never made me feel smart enough, or good enough - in any aspect of my life. was a little praise too much to ask for?
i get it okay, everyone has a screwed up childhood.
i admit: i have a middle child syndrome and the sooner i get over this complex and learn to love myself - exactly the way i am - the sooner i can learn to let someone else in and of course, move on with life and BE SOMEBODY.
p/s: looks like you're not the only running away from something, now would be a good time to add my name to that list.
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