simon says:

i'm amazed - partly at myself,
the other part, just plain amazed.

i've never felt this way before: being here makes me want to be everywhere else.

BUT,

there's a clear distinction between going places and feeling the pressing urge to escape your surroundings once they start to show signs of routine. i've never been my sister; she with her endless crusades to save the world, traipsing off to as many countries as possible, seeking refuge from i'm-not-sure-what, it's almost as if she feels time is waving at her as it passes her by.

i don't need to be 'a comet, blinding in its brilliance.. etc' an original quote by her. i've never felt the desire to run away, or ever had reason to. soon she'll run out of places to escape to. but that's her, and i doubt she'll ever run out of places anyway - as long as it's not singapore, right? heh - besides, you only live once so i say, to hell with it!

interruption: darling alexa popped by to visit and say hi, one of the handful - besides my sweetheart love - to do so. aww, isn't she the sweetest? i love her. she's so cute it's not even funny.

i want to see the world. i want to open my eyes and bear witness to life beyond my own. i want to, more importantly, need to know the world as it truly is, which is everything that my world isn't.

just yesterday, i was telling love, "i haven't been in the library this whole week, i was wrought with guilt. now i'm here, and it feels like home." weird huh.

being in the library, surrounded by all these books, makes me see. i was flipping through a pictorial by david bailey for bandaid. it evoked such strong feelings within me that i felt goosebumps rise up on my skin and tears in my eyes. the injustice of it all. it's beyond unfair; it's inhuman. i want to go to africa and do something. i don't want to just sit at home and think about it, or be one those people on the streets blindly donating to charities without knowing what cause it's for. i want to DO SOMETHING, MAKE A DIFFERENCE in someone's life.

do i sound very naive? i hope not. i genuinely want to help. my first day in class; they mentioned some programme to help aids victims in africa, by teaching them how to sew. when i heard that, i wanted to sign up immediately, to be a part of it.

note: manda and lili just popped by - unannounced - in a bid to try and get me to hurry up with the dressing up already! (i think) *grin* i love surprise visits, it's so lovely entertaining people in your flat. correction: it's so lovely having people to entertain. period.

anyway, that and greece in summer, new york, paris. so many places so little time (and money). last year our whirlwind escapade in vienna, budapest prague was just for starters - a little taste of culture. i didn't really have the opportunity or time to explore. plus i want to learn french! just enough to get me by, say being able to order a cup of coffee at a cafe in france? that'll suffice.

ahh.. this is life, yes? the desire to do more learn more be more.

as i was accumulating a stack of books at the photography section, i chanced upon a book on ken done's artworks - which brings to mind, where on earth is the KD diary uncle brian bought me? damn. when i go home in dec, i better hunt for it - and subsequently this quote "sometimes, in the winter, the water and the sky become the same and it's like turner or rees." which accompanied a gorgeous painting, where the water and the sky were merged as one.

i'm not making sense anymore, just got back to my flat from celebrating alexa's 19th at tap 'n' tin. the music tonight was really really good. i don't remember having this much fun in ages. YAY HOORAY.

p/s: i adore that naughty sounding song from charlie's angels; the scene in which sam rockwell does a sexy little dance and split to the floor, love love love it! it keeps playing in the clubs here. simon says...