maybe tomorrow.

"so maybe tomorrow, i'll find my way home.."
- stereophonics, crash.

i used to believe; and by that i don't simply mean "okay, alright! i believe you" used lightly... i'm referring to the way children around the world "believe" there is a santa claus who conveniently drops in every 24th of december with a whole sackful of presents for kids, naughty or nice.

i mean totally and completely, wholeheartedly, with-every-ounce-of-my-being type of 'belief'.

get my drift?
good.

right, back to my beliefs. as i was saying, i believed it was taboo to advertise my love, or relationship - anything that involved being overly proud, satisfied, content, bragging, flaunting.. etc. for every time in the past when i got too arrogant about anything, it all came crashing down. i was very careful to draw that line and even more cautious not to step over it.

i tried my best to lay low; not mentioning my other half (the way some girls do, at irritatingly frequent intervals), keep things low-key and when questioned, my questions zen-like - never providing too much information.

i admired girls who managed to keep their successful relationships under wraps, and without having to yap about it 24/7. i was even more impressed when i found out that these girls were attached at all, that's how much they kept mum. i wanted to be one of those independent types who could go out with friends the entire day and not make a single mention of her boyfriend.

i thought to myself: this is the secret formula to my relationship lasting forever.

well, whaddaya know? it's not.

my beliefs, i guess, are nothing but make-believe after all. there is no such thing as a secret formula to a relationship lasting for-ever.

i should've documented my love while it lasted.
now it's too late
it's over and done with
and i'm left
feeling empty and stupid.

oh yeah, did i mention stupid?