ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren.

ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren is frickin irritating the shit outta me!

at 2am in the morning sometime last week, thursday was it? or friday, she barges into my room dragging along at least 20 shirts and dumps them on my bed rather unceremoniously.

i look at her bewildered, and resisting the urge to kick them off my bed as they are now taking up alot of space and are on their way to joining the land of 'things that do not belong on my bed'

which include:
half-used clothes (clothes that i've worn before and intend to wear again before washing), an assortment of belts dangling precariously half-on/half-off the rattan footrest? (the other side of the bed opposite the headrest), clothes that played victim to my mini fashion shows at the most ungodly of hours and were never put back in the wardrobe and several recently-used bags that still have ticket stubs, tissue paper and lip gloss lurking around in there.

she looks wayy too chirpy to be ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren so i make a mental note to tread carefully, or suffer death by ugly shirts. (a la death by chocolate)

by the look of things now, all i can say is, as if i ever stood a chance. [of escaping scot-free]

and so she twitters about excitedly, crushing any hopes i had of leading a drama-free life devoid of ugly shirts and resuming my lovely quiet time reading. and demands (quite nicely, by her standards) that i sew darts onto all of them or... never leave the house again.

'friends romans countrymen', i fear the time to lend me your ears has come and gone.

what i need now is a shot of tequila (to numb the pain of looking at those horrific shirts) i swear, i am not exaggerating, shades (you know, as a backup plan in case the tequila isn't strong enough) and the hope that once this is over, i can go back to reading and pretend this never happened.

what brought this about: amidst all the nagging (from her stupid friends) that her shirts are shapeless and do nothing to hint that she has a newfound waistline and (the much NOT! APPRECIATED interference from her housewife 'girlfriends' WHO HAVE NOTHING ESLE BETTER TO DO than to put ridiculous notions in her head that her daughter is HER PERSONAL SEAMSTRESS!!) ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren must've decided that "oh, you know what? they are absolutely right. bring on the darts baby!"

so she come up with a scheme of sewing for me: 3 shirts a day until the end of my frickin already-nonexistent holidays and that should do the trick.

PUI.

okay, it isn't so bad lah. i've already done 1,
2.89647 billion more to go. whee!

the thing is, ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren isn't one for waiting for things to happen. just for today, i'm actually seriously busy researching for material for my fyp presentation tomorrow and she stomps into my room like some factory floor manager (insistent on seeing numbers people, numbers! we gotta meet the quota!) and obviously i haven't touched those darn shirts in all their gloriously blazing hideousness. and so now she's mad at me for being DEFIANT.

hello? i never said i wouldn't do them, i just said NOT TODAY. for someone who tutors other people in english, ba wo sheng chu lai de nu ren sure doesn't have a good (enough) grasp of it.

**with the recent uprising of students insulting their teachers on blogs and getting suspended, i thought it'd be best to keep up with the times, although subtlety isn't exactly my key :)