i deserve an award for being such a drama-mama- perpetually being caught in the middle of unwanted attention. *shakes head fervently* i don't know how i do the things i do. whatever it is that i do, i do so with relish!

i'm staring to think i ENJOY being unglam- will i live to regret this statement? (let's see) losing my balance on buses. falling backwards in engine school (at the TOP of LT42), nearly falling down the entire flight of stairs. banging into things, resulting in unidentified bruises and cuts. tripping over bags. slipping on the dry floor at home. perpetually stubbing my little toe around corners and screaming at the guilty suspect: the cupboard.

specially dedicated to miss lee ruiping, who personally managed to change the direction of this entire post. from self-deprecating to campyvampydramamamaqueenofgossip.

to 'the stylist' and QiQi: i'm sticking my nose out of your business from now on, unless of course i'm involved. [a scenario i shall avoid gleefully] your business=not my business. my business=not your business. therefore i shall conclude that business=business. huh?

even though i've tragically lost the three loves of my life: my darling, my husband & my lover, reinforcements shall arrive soon enough. i'm SURE of it *wink*

to escalator boy & jackblack: i apologise. i know it's not fair. i know how it feels, trust me. i told you not to fall in love with her, it'll bring you nothing but pain. she doesn't deserve your affection.

SIP: yes it's difficult. but then, life often is. sometimes, i question God. i ask him why he places all these challenges before me, when he is fully aware that i am unable to overcome them. ever since i was a little girl, i thought that he had a plan for me; to do something special, to BE someone special. i'm starting that there is no plan. what is my talent? my gift? my blessing?

he seems to have misplaced it,
or i seem to not possess it.

competing with your classmate is one thing. going against your closest friend in school is another. life can put us in such difficult positions. i know i won't get it. i don't know who will. all i can do is pray that when that dreaded day arrives, i'll be calm, keep my composure and not cry and die.

i'm listening to: jeff buckley's "hallelujah".
this one really got my tear ducts working overtime.

p/s: you gotta get yourself into the right mood first. and by 'right mood' i mean: PMS, depressed, repressed, hyper angsty and unfulfilled with life (yours, specifically) have fun!

p/p/s: i miss you. mummy & verrell said something in the car last night, it reminded me of you. i wonder if you know this; sometimes it hurts like shit to think of you, so i opt for denial instead. how long more till i'll be okay?

"time wounds all heals"
- marissa tomei. someone like you.