i kept telling myself. over and over the line played in my head, just like a broken record.
the whole point of reunion dinners with the tan's is to act like a loving caring happy family while underneath, it broils and simmers- resentment. spite. jealousy. animosity.
all that pretense. i can't stand a second of it.
what is the point of pretending when all it really is, is an act? a scene in a movie. several scenes in fact, long enough to last the duration of chinese new year. after that's done with *brushes hands together*, and we've seen enough of each other's faces to last the rest of the year, we go right back to being strangers.
the truth of the matter is, we know NOTHING about each other. i have all the dinner topics memorised over years of the same stale conversation:
T will always have some new gadget, a handphone. the latest model. and he will spend the entire night discussing its functions, price, showing it off and demonstrating it for us. P will do her best to be as superficially real as her artificial self can possibly be, which is still fake.
i bet if i poked her face, she'd crack.
everybody will ask me about fashion and school. what year i'm in. where i plan to go and do. P will offer her nonsensical and useless advice regarding my future. she will also make empty promises to pull some strings in high places- she ALWAYS knows someone from somewhere. from now onwards, i shall call her the puppet master. or pinocchio. hey, it's still P.
S1 will always tell some embarrassing story about S2. she's so jealous, i'd be completely brain-dead/in a coma/in a vegetative state not to notice. i contemplated stabbing myself with the dinner knife when she plonked her butt in the seat next to mine. it spelled out one thing. T-O-R-T-U-R-E.
how tempted i was to poke her in the eye with my chopstick- much like she did to her maid a few years back- ACCIDENTALLY. my condolences.
i, on the other hand acted like the perfect ladylike niece/cousin/daughter. i offered to help S1 dish out food when she couldn't reach, to cut up her food into smaller pieces (only because i saw the potential for ''MY clothes have stains on them!! from YOUR food!!" when i noticed her physical struggle with the duck or pig or something's claw)
at first, i willed myself mentally to be as cold/icy/bitchy as possible. in a turn of events, the aircon was too cold for me and my tube top, so T asked me to sit next to him, to 'catch up' he said. he was trying so hard to make up for what he did/didn't do. my heart softened. i felt sorry for him. on impulse, i reached across and hugged him. i guess it's been so long since i was held by a man/male relative, i missed it. strangely enough, i found some comfort in his embrace. he felt guilty too. i could see it that it had been eating him away. i saw it in his eyes.
however, when Pinocchio entered the room- in a gust of pink pleated chiffon and sleek pants, sparkly pink nail polish, ghostly bloodless vampire-like face, artifically permed hair, immaculately made up face- i brought my game. i was like, "bring it on, bitch."
from the second she set foot in the room, i refused eye contact. it was an intentional move on my part. while dissecting the evening and all the bad 'actors' that participated in the little 'movie', in the car, mummy told me that she had been watching P from the corner of her eye. P was watching ME. she was waiting for me to greet her. notice my glee, when i didn't.
i acknowledged her of course, in due time. hee.
the night wore on. an everest of rubbish chatter took place. i, being my ladylike self (i'm capable of such behaviour ok!) tempted their tastebuds with samples of my dry humour and exchanged witty repartee with the adults. they were suitably impressed/amused and were amply occupied with reading between the lines of my wit.
ok i'm bullshitting lah. they weren't THAT occupied. *smirk*
when the TOUCH-Y subject of mr K came up. the P and her equally (if not more so) stiff and plastick-y husband O suddenly were upright, rigidly hanging onto my every. single. word.
O asked (acting casual), "have you and K been keeping in touch? does he still email or call you?"
i dangled back tantalisingly, "no. he's probably too busy with his girlfriend."
keyword: GIRLFRIEND.
"oh, you know about her too?" (unpleasant look on his face. as if he just ate something bitter)
hah! they knew i had the power to make or break the situation. given my extensive knowledge and intel recovered through CNN (carol news network) and the MIA (maid's intelligence agency). [carol's my maid/second mother] i was a force to be reckoned with!
i continued telling the story of how my cousin did not see me in while with his girlfriend on the escalator at far east, "so i stared at him.. he didn't see me. his gf nudged him.. hey.. your friend! oh hi!..."
"that's it? just HI?" O sputtered.
"well.. he was on the escalator going down and i was going up.." i added, almost lazily.
O pushed it.."you should've have run up to him and hugged him to see how his girlfriend would react" (this is his highly unsuccessful attempt at being funny/he can barely cover up his distaste for the girl)
me, being the good girl said,"oh i'm not a troublemaker.."
cue laughter.
adults: laughing their brains out/practically pee-ing in their pants. poor people. they probably don't expose themselves to enough tv to be funny on their own.
heh. i'm EEEEVIL.
i add on, "but i was tempted to."
i saw O lean over and ask P what i said.. wow. these people were really paying attention. well, when the subject happens to be their precious son and his not-so-precious girlfriend, they were all ears. i pity them. the girl is a GOLD-DIGGER! and don't you know it... *wink*
oh well. i love my S2. SHO cute. and she looks just like me when i was young. the rest of the adults were fine actually. V, G and J.
me & my baby sarah.
look at the head in lurking in the background.
she wasn't meant to be in the photo. twit.
the night was finally over, at the insanely early time of 6.30pm. shift one, over. now, back home for some REAL PEOPLE and REAL FOOD.
back at my place, the night was just beginning. the tossing of the crackers, fish&stuff commenced just as our car entered the driveway. it was so nice being in the presence of non-barbies. the tossing was so messy, i got the slimy noodle-y thing all over my hands. for the second time that night, i shouted, "MORE BOYFRIENDS!!" to which uncle brain retorted "how many do you need?"
you see? that's what i mean by WIT.
[if you sat through a dinner with the tan's, you'd know what i mean] judging by their lack of proper conversational skills, i'm practically disowning myself from the family name- if being embarrassed to be a tan isn't enough already.
oh i forgot to mention. i made my grand if unglam entrance by shrieking, "UNCLE BRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!" when i heard the strangely excessive sound of male voices in the house. he's witty, smart, oh-so-sarcastic, straight-talking and REAL. just the antidote to fix me after a dinner with the barbies. it had slipped my mind that he had dropped by to celebrate with us, all the way from the land down under.
YAY! all my lovely cousins, full of crap. i was in heaven. 2 tables were out, steamboat-ing away. i passed around salmah's grandaunty's hedgehog cookie and they were mostly in awe, asking what the secret ingredient was, cept for a few i'm-allergic-to-sugar-and-i'm-watching-my-weight adults.
uncle brain always taunted, "a second on the lips, eternity on the hips."
sigh sigh sigh. i was busy munching away on the cookies and my ultimate favourite sinfully delightful cuttlefish with chilli & sugar. darylyn threatened to hide away both tins! parties and celebrations at my place always have 2 things: food and gambling.
we're the small fries. verrell's idea of gambling means playing with 20cents and an example of a big bet is $5. wh-oa. we're no gambling den or zoe tay & li nanxing. i can play a mean game of taitee. daddy taught me. he being the master of gambling, you know i'm good.
*cough cough*
so we played monopoly first. we cheated, handing out the $5000 notes to everyone but olivia, when the banker was away. drank some 'sparkling grape juice' that took hours to pop the cork and only cost $2. *laughs* the girls were fascinated with mr AJ and we set him loose in the garden, he went mad, obviously. decided to fool ourselves into thinking that we were pro bball players. i started screaming out the lyrics to the ROCKIN "since you've been gone" in complete darkness. surprisingly, ms denyse de silva the athlete SUCKED. hehe. that was funny. even with all her height, she couldn't get the ball IN THE HUGE HOOP- let alone dunk it. but we forgive you, because we love you. aww..
*pretending to yawn while thinking of cuttlefish* i didn't participate in their smallfry gambling this time.. too busy watching manhunt. eyes fixated on the very HOT *sizzle* male models- especially the one with wavy curly hair. *sizzle*
*still thinking of cuttlefish* goodnight. i couldn't control the urge to blog. guess this means i'm back- for now. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
p/s: i think T's having an affair. i really really do. after explaining my theory to mummy, she remarked, "you're really like your daddy. so suspicious." i'd prefer the term 'nimble-minded'.
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