40 days and 40 nights

i was thinking about this entry on my way home.

this will be THE entry to end all entries about them M-E-N.

what is UP with them? i think it's time i embark on a '40 days and 40 nights' type of sacrificial ritual- where the ogling of men and all things male will be disallowed. i know i can do it if i put my mind to it. besides, at what better time to do it than now?- when the abundance of ugly men is running high and the evidence of REAL male beauty is running low.

i was at borders just now, walking towards the entrace/exit when i spotted this semi-cute guy at the information counter. he spotted me spotting him, so i did a typically female thing- to turn and pretend to spot something else- in this case, a book. (duh. i'm in a bookstore)

the title: "he's just not that into you."

now you see why it caught my eye. i started flipping through and actually reading its content. then i spotted something else- 2 figures to be exact. i only saw the back of the girl, but her lithe paris-hilton-ish frame reminded me of 'someone' and her guy reminded me of 'the ex'. at that moment, i panicked. thought bubble: shit. when these ridiculously embarrassing situations occur, you're ALWAYS seen ALONE, even if your friends just left a moment ago. i knew it wasn't them- i would've screamed and dropped dead otherwise. ok, maybe that was a little too dramatic, but knowing me i would've done something or reacted along those lines.

i mean, if seeing mr apricot half a decade after primary school can elicit such a violent response, (read: shrieking then ducking under the table at pacific coffee) anything's possible.

my mind flashed. literally. thought bubble: what the HELL are you still doing here? drop that book and GET OUT OF THERE NOW! (before you actually see THEM)

that's exactly what i did- i hightailed my way out of borders. i looked mad- furious face, locked arms, hair flying, feet stomping. i was a woman on a mission, and my mission was to get to the mrt station asap. hah. nothing could stand in my way. [i vaguely recollect terrfied faces as i stomped my way through the crowd]

i don't know why i acted the way i did. at that moment [which consisted of less than a second] when the thought struck me- that they might actually see me dressed to the tens, alone, reading a book about how guys are just not into you- and i would seem pathetic.

while he has moved on and gotten with a girl, i'm still alone. no doubt older and a little wiser, but relatively me- add 1 year to my age and clubbing to my credentials.. and yeah. that's it.

right. back to the men-thing. [actually it's all kinda interconnected, somehow]

my three commandments.

i shall not look at them.
i shall not think about them.
i shall not dream about them.

no skaterboy. no skipping boy. no bengkoh face. no my boy. no lecturers. no CB#2. no you.

WARNING: ego trip ahead. if you cannot stomach narcissism, i suggest you leave right away.

i am a narcissist. and i LOVE it. [p/s: god, please don't punish me] says:
we are all beautiful confident women!
i am a narcissist. and i LOVE it. [p/s: god, please don't punish me] says:
and we deserve the best!
i wish tt earth was a calmer place. says:
wa...sound so confident
i am a narcissist. and i LOVE it. [p/s: god, please don't punish me] says:
HAHA I'M GOING TO oops. write that on my blog right now

ahem. alright, thy shall commence thy ego trip.

i am an intelligent woman (yes, WOMAN). i am confident and i do not give a toss about what other people think. i am beautiful dammit! inside and outside. when i walk, i walk tall and i walk proud. i am proud to be FEMALE! i know when guys want me, i feel it in my BONES *laughing but trying to be serious*

WE deserve the BEST and ONLY the BEST! nothing else will do.

why the hell should it matter if i see my ex with his current squeeze? it's been a year and then some. i've so over it i can barely remember how ugly he is. hee. irony at its best. why should guys always have the upper hand in this crazy game of love? why do they get to call all the shots? people, i thought we were in the 21st century already- get with the program.

i promise myself: for the 40 days+nights that lie ahead, I WILL NOT EVEN GO THERE.

i will be so un-male-inclined that people will ask,"vicks, are you alright?"

this DOES NOT mean that i cease to believe in love. i never said anything about my jordan. it just means that for the next 40 days+nights, my life will be free of men.

*evil laughter*

sleepless nights, here i come! WHOOHOO!