blast from the past

i'd like to do myself, and my classmates justice by writing about how we've all matured into fine young adults. but that wouldn't be justice, that would be lying. heh. frankly, just thinking about gopalan enlisting into NS is enough to make me consider giving up singapore citizenship. and to think, that when the time comes down to it, i'd have to depend on him to defend our nation. i might as well just take a gun and shoot myself now. hah. *kidding* we're talking about a guy who can't play a single game without having to eat 11 chicken wings as forfeit. *the look* singapore is doomed.

and no, i wasn't feigning surprise. i was genuinely shocked when he dropped the bomb on us just now. and not just him, yongchuen and yusheng too. it's so weird. surreal even. i had a particularly hard time dealing with the news because to me, it was like we had stepped into a whole different timezone. enlisting. NS. national. service. pulau tekong. all these were terms for grown-ups, and we were nowhere near being grown up. we were still playing "concentration.. concentration.. this is the game of concentration.." and making animals actions at each other. think loahan or lohan or luohan.. yes, the FISH. and pigs, frogs, cats, tigers, mice, crocodiles too.. NOT guns, PT and all that stuff. suddenly, i felt so old. 6 YEARS had passed since we were last classmates, united as one in the torment of PK hwang and the dislike of 'deng xiao ping's' great-granddaughter, or so she claimed.

it never ceases to amaze me- how we're able to 'transcend' the different paths we've all taken in life to come together and still act like 12 year olds' together. it feels like nothing has changed. even though some of us have stretched like rubber and become completely unrecognisable (cue, weichun) while some of us have grown from midgets to being on par with the once-tallest girls in class (hah! ME!). ultimately, we all still look the same. heck, we even act the same. lynette tay and gopalan STILL going at it like a married couple, even though by popular rumour, i'm supposedly carrying his twins. tsk. primary school antics, we never grow out of them, do we?

it's nice to forget. to leave our normal lives behind temporarily and travel back in time to 1998. we come together once or twice every year, knowing that we could put on a show and pretend to be everything that we're not. then we leave, go back to our ordinary lives and never see each other again- until the next gathering, that is. but i doubt anyone bothers putting on a show. if they did, they must've been damn good actors/actresses. i love everyone i saw today. they're all still so genuine, except for some *cough*boy-with-flu*cough* who's too busy putting on a "i'm so cool!" show, that he forgets to realise that he hasn't grown one bit since primary school, be it physically or mentally.

take that! okay, apparently i haven't fully grown out of childish tit-for-tat behaviour either. give me time! i'm still the baby of the class *naughty smile*

later on, as lyn and i dissected the gathering while waiting at the bus stop, she said that we should've spent more time talking to the guys, esp since they're going to NS. it hit me hard. i might not see them for the next few years. and even though we barely see each other as it is, 6D gatherings were always a given. or a taken. that we'd meet every year, without fail. and to NOT have the guys there would be a missing piece of our annually shrinking puzzle. honestly, i'd miss gopalan. he's a really nice, funny guy. come to think of it, my 6D male classmates are prob 10 times better than ANY of the guys i know from school. somehow they project a sense of sincerity, not so much concerned with uber cool "i've got dunks and my haircut costs $200" type of trivialties. it's not that they don't care about their image, it's just that their world probably doesn't revolve around dreaming of ways to get the next designer tee that costs more than my entire wardrobe altogether. but then again, it's design. *rolls eyes* i'd expect nothing less.

besides the fact that the table was overflowing with food. nothing to do? eat. bored? eat. forfeit? eat. hah. yah, point taken. LOTS of food. everything from soon yee+ronghui's pizza (fulfilling my craving) to anqi's popiah, lyn and my carrefour chickens, gopalan's erm nuggets, marlene's gitanic (gigantic+titanic) hah. tray of chicken wings, yuen kwan's mee siam, fruit salad, cookies and cream ICE CREAM, courtesy of RH and SY again. yum.

we played games ALL DAY LONG. i have no idea how many different games we played. thank god this year truth or dare was excluded from the prestigious list of 'games to play at a class gathering'. it was fun. *smile* i could not stop laughing. i haven't laughed this much since like, i can't remember. i laughed alot. period :) gopalan kept screwing up. jianghao and anqi's everlasting 'animosity' hah. dolphin hand actions. sexy tiger's claw. *snort* spider. shark. unicorn. butterfly cum bird. gorilla cum mistaken-hands-across-chest action. bi bi bi. complete with 'twinkle twinkle little star'-ish actions. haha. such enthusiasm. MY GOD. who knew jianghao would get so excited about 'bi bi bi'? haha. surprise surprise--> yusheng and joshua enacting scenes from "how to be gay and obvious" which involved rolling around on the sofa making questionable noises, eliciting weird looks from everyone on the floor. hey! even the guys cocked their eyebrows at yusheng and joshua's not-even-bothering-to-hide-in-the-closet gayness. but. oh. well. that's what exams do to you. not that i would know or anything. hee.

we didn't talk much about the present that extended beyond,"what school are you in?" and "what course?". everyone preferred to stay firmly in the past. reminiscing about the old times. the good times. things were so simple back then. actually no, even back then we had our own brand of primary school politics.

i still feel like me. plain jane. brown. unpretty. small. the pretty girls are still pretty. marlene, lynette. some things never change. pj's still loud. wenli's still funky. yien shan's still demure. anqi's still spunky. wan jun's still the class monitress, mothering us all :) the guys are still endearingly adorable, as much as i hate to admit it. up to their usual mischievous antics :)too bad victor my long-lost-brother-from-the-amazon-forest wasn't there. haha.

some things DO change. my height, for example *smirk* i used to think of marlene and wenli as giants, towering above me. but you know what? we're the same height now. i'm slightly taller even. miracles DO happen. and in this lifetime too. i cannot believe it.

i wonder if i'll ever get over it. i wonder if the weirdness will ever go away. it's been 6 years. all the things that could've been, but never were. and it's not even the one i expected to feel weird about. *laughs* ooh, the irony of it all.

at the end of the night, carrying bagfuls of chicken served in various different ways and waiting for the bus to come, i felt sad. i had let time get the better of me. primary school seemed too far away to go back to, but near enough to remember; all the things that were said and done. for things that happened 6 years ago, our memories were pretty fresh. quirky characteristics. stupid pranks. scary form teacher who became pastor in hk. yeah. all together now,"HUH?" class enemies. partners in crime. i miss it all. if i could, i would go back. happy times. remember everything. relive everything. except PSLE, of course. but it's okay. growing up is part and parcel of life. there's nothing to be afraid of. it just scares me how fast time flies. them enlisting in NS is just a subtle indication that we're not 12 anymore, even though we still act like it *grin*

*melancholy taking over* class reunions have that effect on me. i never know when the next time will be.

to my classmates from ats 6D 1998, i love you. thank you for today.

"while you were just friends. at least that's what you said. now i know better from his fingers in your hair. i'll forgive you for what you've done. if you say that i'm the one."