dorothy's return to oz.

dorothy is back in oz, yet somehow it doesn't feel like home anymore.

i can't sleep, i should be asleep but instead, here i am - back at my once-favourite place. my fingers feel so at ease, like i never left. i've been plenty absent, busy you know, living. or trying to have a life - there's a difference.

i wrote a couple of paragraphs and stopped. then deleted every word. because as of now, i am at a lost for words (again); there are simply too many things i want to say but no idea how to say them. coming home, i don't want to think. i don't want to have to contemplate anything. not the past present or future. things are as they are... because. everything changes, nothing stays the same. to expect things to be as they were when i left would be selfish and unrealistic.

so their lives now revolve around other people and other things, i am no longer the center of the universe. is it too much to request a second to grieve? for the things that once were.. while i was away, the plastic wrapping was removed, the dust has settled.

right now, i just want to be with the ones that matter, and have a good time at it. all that stuff about being in limbo? screw it.

......

the past 36 hours felt like the longest journey of my life.. did it really happen? bonding with my 3-girl-clique (complete strangers) whilst stranded in heathrow at some god forsaken hour, due to the flight cancellation. when we finally boarded that plane, we went our separate ways. it was clean, detached. having spent a good 12 hours or so in each other's company, revealing semi-intimate details about our lives, only to have that magical spell broken once we went to our respective seats was... surreal.

the entire experience was surreal.

we disembarked the plane,
as strangers once again.

fret not! i wrote down their facebook email addresses, so it isn't the end.