lucidity.

sometimes, i cry myself to sleep at night. other times, i somehow manage to conjure up the amazing acrobatic prowess in me (i kid. it's not that hard) to curl up into the fetal position, hoping wishing and praying for the dull aching pain to go away, rocking myself almost feverishly.
and yet, i can hear the steady beating of its drums, though if i were trying to be imaginative, i'd say: i can spy with my little eye, tiny tin soldiers marching across the room - i wish i were more lucid when i write such things. having an ally mcbeal dancing-baby moment here!

"pain pain go away, come again another day..."

i've written about this countless times. the topic of pain; though the thousand other times must've seemed a little more comprehensive, or at least less all-over-the-place.

i used to assume that in life, we all have choices. of late though, i've come to discover, that that may not always be the case.

it's simple, really. put in my position: to quit or to stay? easy. i quit. onto the next problem!

that isn't how it's always gonna be. we weren't put on this earth to sail through life without having to overcome a few obstacles along the way. we weren't made to have it easy.

life+easy=noway hosay. get it? OR (life=easy)=null & void.

snap outta it people. i'm talking o'level amaths here-> though i've erm, forgotten the chapter and the terms.

i've probably lived the majority of my life with one eye firmly shut. be it literally physically, whatever, the point i'm trying to make is: i never really opened my eyes. in the past few years and recent weeks, i have come to see life for what it truly is.

there are no peaches and cream, or cherries on top.