sigh

sigh.

S-I-G-H.

BIG SIGH. SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH.

heh. my boyfriend hates it when i sigh. maybe i should really give it a shot, you know, stop sighing. it's bad for the soul. i used to tell desmond that if he really needed to, do a backward sigh, which is pretty much like taking a deep breath. let's try that.

HGIS aka deep breath. whoot. i feel better already. well, not really.

okay, this is what's bugging me

I CAN'T STOP THINKING!

from 1st and 2nd crits (they said most of us failed) to the stupid informal internal crit with that piece of shit mims, short for mimi (where he didn't grade us properly) to the next day, when i stumbled and rambled my way through the moderation presentation (i felt that i really had nothing to say in comparison) also because he didn't have a PROPER one to prep us for what to expect. to the moderation of the exhibition space, where my dress fell off (and she took notice) to the external crit, where i read off my paper and STILL had nothing to say. shit shit shit. to after the EE, when the allure man called me back in ALONE to show him my 5th outfit, and it wasn't at the exhibition. when i asked irene why he asked for me, she said 'to access your design capability'.

shit shit shit.

to the damn fashion show when they didn't announce my name and i took off the accessories and it seemed bare and the knit dangled off the back of the bustier (cos the tagging came off probably while i was lacing the model up) and the inner skirt was too long cos the model was too fat for me to pull it up anymore.

i don't want a C or a D or to fail. i worked my bloody ass off just like everyone else and we all deserve better!

enough now vic, enough. i've said everything there is to say and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it now. IT'S OVER. make peace with it and move on.