faith in fate

1st january 2005, saturday/new year's day

a quick recap:
- i graced sarah and vini with my presence that fateful saturday evening
- princess poo poo, vini the pretty and i, the retired ballerina entered the land of dinner/read: marches.
- walked around town, snapping shots of everything on my beloved digicam/ppp said i looked like a japanese tourist :)
- fooled around with the handphones on display, pretending to model the latest flip-phones/thus taking more pictures in the process
- went over to my favourite place, BORDERS/coffee bean/snapped away- yet again.
- said our goodbyes/they took a cab/i walked towards the exit... (and the story goes..)

the juicy part:
- spotted semi-cute guy. blah.
- he spotted me. blah.
- distracted by book: he's just not that into you
- noticed couple clinging onto each other a la 'till death do us part'.
- was reminded of an unfortunate incident/person(s) [unfortunate it began. unfortunate it lasted, short as it was. FORTUNATE IT ENDED] phew...

and then:
- thought bubbles went into overdrive.
- sudden brain activity almost caused an internal explosion.
- i left as quickly as you can say: drop book. run fast. mrt station.

fate:

ok this is it.

i got on the train. the usually long and arduous ride seemed to pass by faster than usual. instead of counting the stops like i normally do, i just sat and watched as they went by in a flash of light- everything was a blur. [like in the movies: the protagonist sits on the train, staring blankly at the wall. time passes by so swiftly, the stations are nothing more than an insignificant haze]

as i got up from my seat and walked towards the door, i noticed a girl, head bent, sms-ing on her phone. dangling from it was a padded keychain&etc [i usually scorn/cringe at such blatant displays of fluffiness, but she didn't interrupt my thoughts or cause an inconvenience of any kind to me, so i did the same and left her alone- even in my thoughts]

we exited. she in front, me behind.

i: uncharacteristically quiet, taking in my surroundings. she: taking swift steps, seemingly in a hurry- one can only assume. as i took my place on the left side of the escalator- i drank in the glowing lights surrounding me in the darkness- my mind drifted and wandered around in its semi conscious state;

reverie: also rev.ery n, pl rev.er.ies [F reverie, fr. MF, delirium, fr. resver, rever to wander, be delirious] (1657) 1: to daydream 2: the condition of being lost in thought

when i reached the bottom, a small object lay on the last step of the escalator. it rose and fell with each step the escalator's mechanism produced. nobody noticed it, but me. i waited until the coast was clear and i wasn't standing in anyone's way; i bent down and grabbed it. from the second i saw it, i knew who it belonged to. i ran after her. on the cold, wet streets outside the train station, i kept chase. but she was walking too fast, i couldn't catch up.

all i could do was to stare at the object i cradled so tenderly in my palm and then at her retreating back; it was as if i was waiting for her to notice the absence of its presence and turn around. i knew she would, sooner or later.

she didn't. she kept on walking. she never turned back.

i headed towards my waiting area; it was only then i took a closer look at the lost-and-found item.

it was my favourite symbol in the world. i used to doodle it all over my secondary school textbooks. instead of the profound explanations, incomprehensible formulas and complicated diagrams, it was a welcome replacement [one that i had absolutely no difficulty drawing whatsoever]

a heart with wings.

i don't know what it's supposed to mean. love flies? love CAN fly? hearts can defeat gravity? a cross breed between cupid and a bird? oh i forgot, cupid already HAS wings.

i'm not sure. i'm not sure i WANT to be sure. it's a symbol that brings hope, no matter its meaning. at that exact moment, i stood motionless; staring at the object that lay so innocently in my hand, no more than a few centimeters in length. and i knew what it meant.

it was a sign.

from god, from cupid, whoever. it spoke to me: don't give up hope. have faith in fate.

and i do.

it might just be a silly conincidence, but i still choose to believe fate hasn't forgotten about me.