eat more, talk less.

I AM GIRL. HEAR ME ROAR!

i do not even know how or where to begin.

men are impossible to decipher. they live by their own rules and codes. they have their little black books, machoism and all that crap. they justfiy buying women food processors and chainsaws as presents with the logic that it's "useful" and "practical". women know no logic unless it has something to do with the words "tiffany" and "co" *laughs* (applicable to some cases only) but in the end, boys will always be boys. well, according to me.

now girls, are a whole different game plan altogether.

even i, as a girl, cannot understand why we choose to abuse ourselves, mentally and physically. why we choose to torture ourselves: the neverending diets. what is it with the zone and the atkins diet? starving. eating 1 pathetic meal a day. to please whom, may i ask? guys who don't notice or deserve our efforts? OR girls who only bitch about us behind our backs? face it, we will never truly be happy or satisfied with our appearances.

"anorexia" and "bullimia" have become too close for comfort these days.

the word "fat" is wayy overrated. since when did NOT being skinny mean that you're fat? just because i'm not an XS or a size 0 doesn't mean that i'm fat. just because i don't have a perfect set of abs doesn't mean that i'm fat. we have completely forgotten what that word means because we use it so often on ourselves and everyone around us to the extent that it has lost its meaning entirely. nowadays, we say it without even thinking about it.

i've heard girls boasting about not having to exercise to stay slim. but then they turn around and say," remind me not to eat tomorrow." what is the point? can't you see how hypocritical it is? wanting to leave the impression that your metabolism rate is 'naturally high' and that you don't have to work for your figure. wanting others to envy you and desire to be just like you. then you go home and starve yourself for days. you skip a meal. you accidentally 'forget' to eat. you skimp on dinner. you miss breakfast. you throw up after you eat. when will this vicious cycle ever end? when will we learn to stop judging ourselves?

i don't know.

i have never gone on a diet in my life. i don't have the discipline or stamina for it. i love chocolate anything. i love famous amos cookies. i love soft chocolate cookies from mrs fields. i love brownies from coffee bean. i love hot cocoa from starbucks. i love chocolate chocolate chip ice cream from haagen dazs. i love new york fudge something from ben and jerry's. i love chocolate chip ice cream from movenpick. i love kinder bueno. i love yan yan. i love meiji's chocobaby. i love cadbury's. i love lindt. i love milo. i love cookies from pepperidge farm (current crave).

food is meant to be eaten and enjoyed. when i eat, i take my time. i don't gulp down my food without even tasting what i'm eating. i eat with my eyes closed sometimes, just to savour the taste. i'll sit there with my eyes closed, chewing and smiling to myself. eating is meant to be a joyous thing, not something you're supposed to analyse or debate about. it's as simple as this,

"eat to live, not live to eat"

i'm not saying that we should all eat continuously all day long. i'm just saying, eat when you're hungry and that's it. if you feel like indulging, go ahead and indulge yourself.

life is short. do you really want to spend it dieting and starving?

i wish i could say that i didn't care about what other people say. but i do.

it bothers me. if only i could be uncaring and walk on with life unfazed by comments made by overly critical people who have nothing else better to do.

i wish i could say that i exercise purely for the sake of my health. but i can't. i do feel healthy and refreshed when i exercise, but that is not the only reason why i do it. i hate jogging. i used to say, "i wouldn't run if you paid me a million dollars." but i've had to eat my words. i jog when i can these days, because i am my own biggest critic and i let the opinions of others bother me.

how stupid.

you have to love yourself first in order to love someone else.

*smirk* oops, there goes my lovelife.

shit. now i'm hungry.